“A Cinderella Story” part of the relatshuntips series

The story of Cinderella, the wicked stepmom and her daughter’s ( stepsisters) was a regular part of children stories in years gone by.

I’ve heard many of the fairy tales as a boy and occasionally created my own narrative or life after ” Happily ever after”

I’m not saying in any way that Cinderella deserved the poor treatment (as the story goes)but when we look to the end of this tale,we have a reason or understanding that sometimes things may turnout much better than they began.

Or at least that’s what we are led to believe.

But somewhere we all betrayed our childhood dream and lessons and embrace the adult version.

Fear, Anxiety and Retaliation…



And that is how me deal with and resolve all of life.

Scenarios that offer more questions than answers when we are forced to face difficult Seasons.

Our relationtip for this chapter is related to the idea of

Who we are.

What do we need (not want)

How is “Happily Ever After” even possible.

We must face the consequences we make.

What does that mean?

Both Men and Women alike have a persona that they present on the phone, at work or out in public alone and even while when out with friends.

To say that Cinderella was a fraud would be mean,but it wouldn’t be a stretch.

Without the obvious upgrade from her fairy godmother “who is she?”

Our own story may begin the same as all stories ” Once Upon A Time”

And even though our story isn’t a fairytale. There are many,many mythical and imagine personality traits (stories we tell) that in the weeks that follow if we are tested we’d fail miserably.

Though the idea isn’t to lie or come off as someone we’re not, we want to put ourselves in the best light.

Is that bad?

It is when we set a standard for our date (suitor) and have a lower standard for ourselves.

There is always a risk when we meet someone new,

But, there is a greater risk when we are unable to be who we “Post to be” get it?

Get it?…”Post To Be”

Social Media “Post”


So be yourself, there will be nothing to rehearse or remember.


What do you need? (want?)

This is an important one because we are very needy when it comes to the things we want.

The first thing that I’d like to say is that we must journal,this should be something that we do regularly.

But if we do not choose to journal regularly,at least try to do it when our lives take a shift or is disrupted.


Why, you ask?

Because things aren’t happening to us they are happening for us.

There a is process to everything that is alive, living and longing to live.

What are needs?

Needs are easy to identify.




And because we have these as our basic (Important) stuff,chances are we will be able to participate in this journey called life.


Wants will occasionally disguise itself as needs.

Cellular Phone


Girlfriend or Boyfriend

We have created an idea of a life based on having thing and end up with the things having us.

So how do we used this fairytale to understand our own need to enjoy the life we have.

We all like the of everything coming together but, we want to do it without “Everything”…

We want to pick

We don’t want the pain and rejection.

We desire our “Happily Ever After” without the “Once Upon A Time”

And you know something, We are all guilty of sneaking and attempting to take a peek at life before it’s time.

But there are certain endings that will not allow us to peek at or cheat, we must go through blindly and without complaining because we’ve prepare ourselves for this moment.

We don’t want to be content with the idea of suffering.

We don’t want to be content with the idea that progress is spelled P.R.O.C.E.S.S.

And we will embrace the fact that “After Winter Comes Spring”

This rule never changes.

So we must welcome and respect the process because, even though we have all of the ingredients for delicious cake in the baking pan. It is one final stage that has to completed before we can enjoy it.

Cinderella, is like many of us that insist that we deserve better and it isn’t fair.

We wonder when it will be our turn or how much longer we have to wait. The answer is until we learn that there is no time.

Only Seasons

We cannot watch it, waste it or rush it.

And our season will arrive without our permission or awareness and it will continue to teach us.

” We are the creator,writer and Producer of our journey and all that we experience are the agents ( servants) of our expect outcome.

Will we

Can we

Must we

Are We Will, We Can And We Must become free of all pain.

By Directing,Expecting and Excepting our role as creator.

No longer Victims or Complaining…

Relatshuntips vol.1 Arnoldmrdadtate

“Sorry for your Loss”

Dear city of Cleveland, state of Ohio we…( everyone that is not Cleveland) realize that this is a difficult “Season” ( pardon the pun) for you guys.

But isn’t the first time that you are dealing with this pain and what make it more painful is, it has happened before.

The first time was considered a betrayal.

Citizens began burning his ( LeBron’s) jerseys and even the sitting Mayor denounce him.

I made the statement that this single trade desimate their little town would seriously suffer and become Detroit MI overnight upon LeBron’s exit.

Fast forward to the return all is forgiven or was it, that is until recent developments.

We thought we had it in the bag. (The 🏆) like I said we thought.

Golden State is fricken amazing and as disappointed as we were, we had no reason to believe that we’d lose you… Uh, I mean him.

Soooo, it looks like you are going to be a “Fakers” sorry “Lakers”

We aren’t willing to say it yet but you are going to be a tremendous asset to this team and it is Hollywood and they are already screaming the ” Return Of Showtime”

I’m going to cry…

He will do fine and the whole N.B.A is going to crown them the team of the century.

But for now let’s just celebrate the latest sports ratings coup.

Yes pre-season, preseason during and postseason this will be the (ONLY) news.

And as for the city of Cleveland, they will as before be just fine.


“Not All Father’s Are Created Equal”

On this Father’s and throughout the year I speak to Father’s that in an effort to create some kind of bond ask questions like do you believe that Father’s get a bad deal?

When I ask, what do you mean?

The response is always a “Mother’s” or Mother’s Day comparison.

My position is always that I don’t compare Mother’s with Father’s, and in fact I don’t want to imagine what a Mother has done or will do for her children.

Face it Mother’s ( Not women with children)

But Mom,and Grandma’s Rock!

I usually end our conversation with “Not All Father’s Are Created Equally”

So I’d like to share in this blog some of my thoughts on Fatherhood.

And when you have an opportunity take the time to read my blog ” The Ten Commandments Of Parenting By Arnoldmrdadtate”

Father are different from Mother’s is something that a child can teach much better than I can.

This is the problem when it comes to a grown man attempting to wonder why Mother’s Day is different from Father’s Day.

The number one problem that I see with us Father’s is that we have this imaginary idea of roles and responsibilities.

Big Mistake.

We must do what we must do.

I have a 20/80 rule for Dad’s

20% of what you say and 80% of what you do.

So Father’s have to help with homework.

We must do bedtime duty.

We must hold and comfort our children when they are confused or sad.

We must visit our children’s school as well as drop-off and pick-up from school.

The summer visiting and weekend time should not be at the movies or at Dad’s Mom’s house.

When the children out of state it is imperative that we make every moment matter and television and the movie theaters will become their teachers and mentors.

Don’t let them.


This is an important one.

No matter how busy we get, we must pause any and every time our child speaks to us or seemingly interupt us.

When my children would see me reading they might say, hey Dad?

Oh I see you’re reading.

I’d would say, “It’s ok , you are more important than this book”

No, that is not always the way I felt, but it created the idea that my children mattered and were important.

Also there is a point that is like to make.

Your children should see you reading (often) and it should be a book.

(Put down the phone)

Remember 20/80

Final Thoughts

First time Father’s as well as Grandparents (Father’s) will observe what they believe is independence.

It is not.

What it is, is an example of our child grasping or understanding the things that we taught or are teaching them.

They want to feel confident. But, do not make the mistake of thinking they are good or got it.

They are getting good and getting it.

We make a fuss over any and everything that they do.



Pass gas


Fill their diaper

Everything is worthy extra attention.

When our children are babies up to the time they toddlers we are a 24/7 cheer squad and when we sense they are getting more confident we pull back.

Don’t do it…

Oh, and one more thing

Words are seeds

So, be mindful of your power Dad’s and put less focus on what others think Father’s Day should be.


“Not All Father’s Are Created Equal”