Aliens Among Us

I would have liked to use the word Extraterrestrial however though they are foreign they are actually born right here “On Planet Earth”also they are citizens of various cities.

I am even going to go out on a limb and say that they have set up shop in the Urban/Black community.

Interesting though It may seem, they have a distinction that over time has waned. I mean,they were everywhere and involved in every aspect of our lives and we weren’t in the least bothered by their presence.

And then for some reason we became aware of their absence or maybe they went into some kind of hibernation because of fear or being over exposed or overexposed or even lost their significance,relevance or importance…?

You see when they first arrived it was clear the role that they would play and it was also clear that the benefits they’d bring to a world that lacked direction or a sense of civic responsibility it is also peculiar clear that The “Whole World” was defending their presence even though we (The Urban) were fine without their.

1.))Interference
2.) Security
3.) Discipline
4.) Direction
5.) accountability

Who are they and where did they come from because as we look at this world, we are just fine.and in a moment there they were directing,correcting and exposing…

“They call it guiding” some families enjoyed their presence because as they would say “It brought order” and “We feel secure” while others considered them a “Nuisance” disruptive…

Oh and their “Voices” compared to the voices that we are accustomed to is brash and threatening even scary.

My childhood existed without any of these disruptions it was my Mom, (1) Sister and (2) Brothers and we had what I had come to believe as “Normal” that is until my Mom wanted to make a slight change to our bliss.

You guessed it “She got married” oh and yes my first encounter with the discipline,direction and you know the rest you see the “Alien” is a type of “Space Invader” that disrupts our sense of “Normal”

His “Voice”.. his unwillingness to “Negotiate” and all those “Isms” like

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
You think you’re nickel slick.
There is no free lunch.
You don’t know your “a..” from a hole in the ground.

It had become clear that in an attempt to program me or brainwash me my Mother invited the “Man”…Father figure.. Stepfather into our seemingly peace and complete family unit.

And I need to say that there was no warmup or warning of what I and my (3) brothers and (1) sister would be in for. I was the oldest and though my sister had me by 2 years at the time I was 14 and, let me put it this way (I wasn’t having it)

There was a wedding and my Mom was pregnant My Stepfather came into our home as the “Boss” at least as far as he was concerned and as you might figure “Mom, though she tried “ wasn’t going to make it as a referee.

You see. In the previous months before “The Invasion” my Stepfather visited never staying the night. (It was the early 70’s and things were different). He was kind to us and it even appeared that he care about us.

The Announcement :
One night after a date, Mom came home and sat the (4) of us down and asked what we thought of (Derric) fictional name…

Well, you may imagine how that went
Me: Very paranoid and very protective of my siblings. “He’s OK.
Brother #1: He’s nice,I like him.
Brother #2: He does things for us,he’s nice.
Sister: He’s nice,I guess.

OK, for real this time…
What do you guys think about (Derric) We are getting married?

What did we possibly think this meant. We didn’t have a clue. We didn’t have an idea of what this would mean or what it didn’t mean. We did know however that “Mom” was happy and well it wasn’t as if she was asking for our permission.

As I began this story I spoke of an( Alien)a force, a “Space Invaders” depicting something or someone foreign and in certain communities this is the case.

It appears that somewhere in them 60’s,70’s and in the decades that followed it became a common thing to have children without marriage. It also became common for young ladies and woman to bare the responsibility of children without a “Man”..,

DeBoer’s Story:
One-third of American children are growing up, as DeBoer did, without their biological father, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. In the past 50 years, the percentage of children who live with two married parents has dropped 22 points. During that same time, the number of babies born to unwed mothers jumped from 5 percent to 40 percent.

Fatherless America? A third of children now live without their dad
ByElizabeth Stuart@elizmstuart
Published: May 21, 2011 11:00 p.m.

The growing trend of father absence could have grave implications for society, researchers say, because having dad around has been linked to important developments in a child’s physical, emotional and behavioral health. At the same time, though, research indicates it’s not enough just to have a male figure in the home.

Several leading sociologists have labeled father absence “the most pressing issue facing America today.” Alarmed by growing evidence of the importance of fatherhood, President Barack Obama, who was raised by a single mother, has forcefully pleaded with fathers to step up throughout his presidency..deserettnews.com

I have a lot to say about the role of a father and even some Stepfathers when it comes to the family and more particularly the Black families.

The reason that I refer to them the “Stepfather and the fathers that do not marry the mother of their children as “Aliens” is connected in the “Home” and the house dynamic.

Mom may in many ways not see or understand the young males manipulating patterns.
Mom,Aunts and Grandmother may not immediately identify the need for the “young man or ladies” the balance that takes place when “negotiations” break down and have the tendency to buckle or give in.
When a Mom puts her foot down in discipline or punishment takes place, because of her “unique design” she may assume that the new behavior is the result of the child’s “ Angelic Nature” surfacing and surrounding (when in fact it in the punishment that produces his/her modified behavior … making things worse.
Dress codes, Hairstyles as well as social situations sometimes need the participation of Dad.
Relationships both in society and at home, with females and males are tempered by the (2) parent paradigm…Josh McDowell has an interesting quote: rules without relationship brings rebellion…

In a lot of ways I may have surrendered to this perceived “ Invasion and this tug of war that took place with (Derric) may have in some way giving the story a happy ending but real life has a tendency to reject the “Happy Endings” that we feel that we need to find closure, understanding or hope and though I am willing to admit I learned a lot from Derric and it isn’t only “What not to do”He (Derric) is no longer with us and in our own way we sorted things out before he passed.

You see as I was determined to hold my sense of (Ownership and Bliss) having no idea of what I was doing , ( ism) #5 “Not having a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of” He likewise as a single male that loved a mother with (4) children (Had no blueprint) also he stepped in whereas my Bio father stepped out. And that has to count for something.

He also had a son by my Mom, Derric jr. my little brother and that is also a good thing.

My Mom had her own (ism’s) one of them was “Take a sh&t or get off the pot…

It had a meaning that went something like this…
Do what you have to do to deal with life’s situations and move on

This is me moving on…- The End-

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