“Boys will be Boys”

Speaking with a friend the other day as we were headed to a local Cigar lounge when he said ” Bro you won’t believe what’s happening” My son got arrested, well detained yesterday, Wait wait I interrupted Ryan? “No Steven” Steven ? But he’s 12 I said.

“I said the same thing” my friend replied

Bro, My son was on a play date. My wife has a friend named Sheila that has (2) children a son and a daughter, Sheila’s son is 11 and her daughter is 8.

Apparently, my friend continued (Let’s call him Bryan) for our story.

It was some kind of misunderstanding, I’m sure it’ll get cleared up, my wife and Sheila have been friends since the 3rd grade.

Cleared up, clear up what? I interrupted.

Bro. Bryan continued, apparently during the play date there is sometimes wine drinking involved and for about 45 minutes the kids were left unattended.

During that period Sheila’s 8 year old said my son tried to kiss her and touch he chest saying “ you gotta a boy’s chest “…That was it . that was it? What the heck are you saying? Bryan this is serious I yelled .

Bro he continued,Come on, you know Steven, he’s a bookworm he was surely just “kidding “ you know..?

Yes sir, I do know Steven and I do believe he is a good kid. But what I do not know is what occurred on that play date.

What I do know (Bryan) is that when a child/children are left unattended their behavior can take on a life of its own.

Well. Bryan said,when I arrived the Police station my wife was already there as was Sheila.

They told me what allegedly happened.

What,allegedly? “I said” come on man.. she told you what happened and then what?

Ok, so the detective said that after they speak with Sheila and her husband and they will determine the course of action.

And you still believe that there is no case? I said.

What the hell does that mean? Bryan barked…

It means that, you and I need to set another day when we can hang out so that you can go home and be with your family because apparently there needs to be a family meeting.

Boy and Girl learn differently (from the same teachers) This is Just you and I, I dropped Bryan off at home.I really wanted Bryan to understand the severity of this occurrence and the potential consequence.

This may help:

1. The super-sexualization of children. My twenty-five plus years as Director of Health for the New York City Public Schools and the tens of thousands of kids I have spoken with about sex and sexuality have taught me one very import fact. Kids today are being exposed to highly sexualized messages and influences at earlier and earlier ages. Before adolescence the typical child will have been exposed to thousands and thousands of these messages. This exposure makes it imperative that parents start discussing explicit aspects of sex when their kids are still young.

2. Almost 7% of today’s teens report having had sexual intercourse before 13 years of age. By the time they are in 9th grade (age 14-15) it’ll be close to 32%. Sexual feelings and to some extent sexual behaviors are becoming more and more actualized during the middle school years so we don’t want to start our conversations about sex then. We want to make sure that we’ve already had multiple conversations with our kids by the time they are in 6th and 7th grade and in order to have done that we need to start in elementary school.

3. The emergence of sexual bullies in elementary schools. Every parent of every elementary school child needs to worry that their kid might be bullied in a sexual manner. This was not a concern for the overwhelming majority of parents just fifteen or so years ago. Today, sexual bullying among elementary school kids is not uncommon. I can virtually guarantee that every elementary school across the country has multiple sexual bullies and they have them in every grade from kindergarten right through 5th grade.

4. The majority of parents in America today still confess to having difficulty communicating with their kids about sex. If young kids are confronting more and more sexual messages than ever but parents are still struggling to talk to them about sex, then many kid’s morals and values about sexual behavior as they head into adolescence are being influenced by questionable sources of information and guidance. psychology today.com “ What your child needs to know about sex(And When) By Dr. Fred Kaeser Ed.D. http://www.psychologytoday.com

Final Thoughts:

It was about a week since I’ve spoken to Bryan and I must say “ I feel like I lost a good friend” Hey, hol,hold on for a second? No you, (The reader)…Hel,Hello…What’s Up “B” oh yeah I cool. Oh yesss their fine,What about you? (You did) great Hmm…they did? Thank God… Ok Bro Tuesday sir same spot, see you there.

Ok folks. Update Bryan and family are all good

Bryan’s wife and Sheila are still great friends (future play date w/o wine) also Stevens apologized for his disrespectful and disgusting behavior and according to Bryan he has had and will continue to instruct his boys about treating everyone behave dignity and respect.

We all have a responsibility to support and also to guide our community.

Direct and redirect its citizens.

Communicate and share information.

Report and encourage all.

We are the village. -The End-

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