“The Unapologetic, Apology “

As part of any good family structure there are times when we Sit, babysit or otherwise have the responsibility of a younger relative.

And as a grandfather I look forward to these “Times” and seize every opportunity to share history as well continue my legacy.

My youngest grandchild is Aden and he is like most boys at the age of 2, busy not “Terrible” as in terrible 2’s but busy.

Boys are (as I like to say ) “Different”

This particular morning my son in law dropped Aden off at 6:50 a.m. waaayyy too early for me.and as a habit my grandson wants to climb onto my lap,his knee made contact with my “Man Part.

Well I grunted and shifted at which time Aden say “ Oh, Saa’ dee Papa” translation “Sorry Papa”

My response was “It’s Ok, is was an accident, I forgive you”

Now, as you read this you probably believe that I used too many words and young Aden won’t understand or be able to grasp my words however think “Legacy “

Legacy:

Law. a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.

anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.

an applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.

Obsolete. the office, function, or commission of a legate. dictionary.com

There are something’s that are better than money

wisdom

Common sense

Treating others with dignity and respect

And any number of “Tools” that may make our lives full and in the event that there is money will help is to maintain a full life.

One such tool is using the “English Language” properly and exercising the power that comes with it.

There are many examples of how to poorly use it for “Bad”. (Too many to count however), using for good is going to take a bit of work.

Each day we encounter people that in some way pay us a compliment.

You are beautiful or handsome.

That’s a nice dress,shirt or car.

You have beautiful or well behaved children.

You are a good person.

Most if not all of the time our response is “Thanks” or “Thank you”

A better response could be “What a nice or kind thing to say”

By responding this way you are realizing the fact that there of reasons for the conclusion that they came to about you or you car, children etc;

Another example is “Good morning” as opposed to “How are you doing”

Many “doors” are opened with either of these examples.

“What’s good about?” as well as the “Morning” reply may make feel life what’s the use of greeting anyone.

Whereas with “How are you and what’s going on “ there may be any number of replies.

I have chosen “Good day to you” approached

It serves as a “Greeting” and also a” Wish” or “Desire” that I place upon everyone that I come in contact with.

But back to Aden and “Legacy” This period of time that we as grandparents have is very crucial to the development of our children.

Because not only to I share “Word Power” as well as create a what I call “Predictive Response”.

In my blog Inner-mission at wordpress.com I shared what I call The Ten Commandments Of Parenting” by Arnold Mrdadtate.

Commandment #9

Talk Low and Slow

They go high,You go low

They talk fast, You talk slow.

This is an example of Predictive Response”.

I know that I should say “Speak”…

There is also a little thing called patience that most grandparents have and keeping in mind that our grandchildren will spend a limited about of time with us.

We must also bear in mind that We (grandparents) aren’t

there only teachers.

Sorry, My Bad and My fault are (3) Unapologetic Apologies that I really dislike.

They appear at the moment to suffice and if we do not correct them early enough they may not be corrected in time.

Keep in mind “Word Power” and “Predictive Response”

I apologize , I am sorry and Please forgive me.

Now those are apologies.

Apologies:

a written or spoken expression of one’s regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another: He demanded an apology from me for calling him a crook. dictionary.com

What I’d like to share is a few things that will help when deal with situations where someone will apologize to us.

Please avoid:

“It’s Ok” this may suggest that it is open season (It’s OKay to treat me poorly)

I know you didn’t mean to (This is something that you may not actually know)

Never minimize nor maximize any infraction, “Remember” (Each situation serves as a teaching moment)

There are a few examples above of a “Standard Apology.

Good apologies:

What was I thinking, Please forgive me.

I forgot that was a sensitive subject for you would you forgive me.

I’m sorry for how that made you feel.

I realize or now realize that was a good thing to say or do.

I realize that wasn’t a nice, good thing to say.

All good ones and if Heartfelt and sincere will begin the mending process to many relationships

Our responses are equally important and as also mentioned (They may also serve as a teaching moment)

Response is key:

I am sure that we will or can get past this.

You really hurt me and I’m disappointed but,with time I am sure we will get through it.

What were you thinking, it is too soon to be acting this way or saying these things.

You are right, you weren’t thinking and I would like for you do a little more thinking before you respond/react in the future.

Human encounters

We as “Human Beings” have a difficult time checking in to the idea of “Being Human”

The are so many trends and styles to add to our culture and lifestyle.

We become “Parrots” and “Mimic” various behaviors as well as adapt to humans and cartoon characters on the television.

And as the phase “Well Meaning” or “Meaning No Harm” goes we mistakenly take each other for granted.

Man, that was pretty heavy.

I like that one, I mean… I wasn’t going to end it there but why go on.

Another finished blog.

See you soon – Arnold Mrdadtate-

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