This is a topic that will not be ignored,
This subject has for some reason, surfaced and resurfaced however “This Time” will not be swept under the rug.
As Women young and old famous and not famous tell the stories of a time when they felt they were victims of what they say was disturbing or uncomfortable.
As Men young and old are tell their side of a moment in time where they felt powerless and vulnerable, the whole world stops as both men and women ask themselves
“Me Too” or Me Too?
The Elephant In The Room:
In my previous blog “ Black Lies Matter 5” I am encouraging us to choose a path of less and less media.
On my YouTube channel “ In my car with my cigar “ episode Tell-A-Vision and the blog by the same I explore the power of Television “Programming “ and its design to tell us
How to see
What to see,what not to see
What to eat, what not to eat
Who to like,who to dislike
This list will never end because “There are so many things that you need to know “ Or programmed to know.
The programming will continue,unless you take control.
I could resist that one ( I crack me up)
There are times that I say to myself, “Where is the rebuttal ?”
Or resistance, Or reply and or outrage.Some of the encounters appeared to be “ Standard Operating Procedure)
Boy meets Girl or Girl meets Boy…
Just imagine the obvious and or intentionally deleted scenes of communications and contacts (the actual event) as well as the one sided account (she said, he said) Guilty because you can’t possibly be innocent “Death Sentence ” or should we say “Deaf Sentence ” because, no one want to hear your “Lies”…-Arnold Mrdadtate-
And if that is the case, what is going on?
There is an outrage and sickening feeling that I get when I hear some of the encounters from the Female or Male victims.
And to be fair as a man I must say that there’s never been a clear idea or guideline on behaviors is no longer an acceptable or tolerable excuse.
( He or She knew when they crossed the line) hmm…
But Did We:
Just as there are many women is the world or in our cities and on our jobs.There are different levels of expectations,tolerance and understanding.
And when male or female use a one size fits all standard we will more than likely create misunderstandings.
We have entered a time in our short history where the idea of misunderstanding is in itself a understanding or misunderstood.
Rules Of Engagement:
harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks.wikipedia.com
unwelcome sexual advances made by an employer or superior, especially when compliance is made a condition of continued employment or advancement. dictionary.com
These are somewhat clear examples of a behavior that should never take place in the workplace but, this would also include a church or other social settings.
Oh Here’s A Better guideline:
Sexual harassment is:
Unwanted offensive touching
Unwanted offensive romantic attention
Offensive sexual speech
Offensive sexual conduct, gestures
Unwanted exposure to pornography
Unwanted offensive sexual texts, emails, facebook/twitter/myspace communications
Conditioning job benefits on sex
Being forced to have sex to keep or get your job
Years ago during the news broadcasts the reporters would give their opinion .
There were even rebuttals and commentary as part of the broadcast and who remembers the Conversations among the reporters ? It wasn’t so long ago that we’d watch the news and see and hear from an expert .
This subject however is left to take on a life of its own.No one has an opinion and it is difficult even for the accused to defend themselves without sounding more guilty.
Guilty until proven innocent use to be a term,but in light of recent developments the only term available is
As a father of two girls and grandfather of two girls I have a particular interest in the safety of my children.And even though (We) fathers tend to be very overprotective of our daughters, our sons at time need our help to navigate through some situations.
It is particularly important to me that as “ the elephant” in the room or observing a great big situation that seems like no one will speak on “Yet”
It doesn’t ever seem to come up. Why? Because it isn’t part of the “Programming “
So to that point I ask.
Will I be next ?
It’s kind of like the game of basketball or football
In modern day professional basketball there is always someone in the lane too long. But rarely do the refs make the “Lane Violation “ call.
This ever e evolving definition of harassment has been allowed to continue to create and maintain a place in our world and no one will make the call.
And in professional football there is alway an individual holding and it can always be called however it isn’t.
Without a clear understanding of
Who to date?
What’s a date?
When to date?
Where to date?
How to date?
There are too many levels to this “Dating “ scenario or is it a date?
Who initiated or indicated the contact.
Was there a mutual interest.
Were there clear boundaries set up.
Was there Alcohol involved.
Was there flirting involved,who did it ? And was it Okay? and how long was it okay?
When was it no longer mutual, consensual or okay?
What caused Shift,Change and Doubt that made what was once mutual appear now as a one sided He said ,She said “Criminal Offense” that is worthy of termination and even the loss of ownership to one company.
I say that because as the “elephant in the room” any and everyone at every school in any and every church or business both male and female have been both victim and villain.
This is a societal flaw.
This is a glitch in the matrix.
Or is it failed parenting.
And it is a result of a shift in society called “ Victimizing “ (You do know that this is where we get our laws from)
Finding A Balance:
Not so fast, we aren’t there yet.
We are not ready to say it is a problem.
The conversation is only taking place in the Barber and Beauty Shops.
There will be an “All Out” shift in the way that we do this thing called “Boy meets Girl” and this is a good thing .
Finding balance is important because we often find that when the pendulum goes too far to one side and there is little consideration how far its gone,it is a matter of time when return to its point and beyond in an attempt to correct.
Or in most cases it will “Overcorrect”…
I must say that when it come to humans, there is always a chance that there is human nature.
And both Male and Females have an expectation of who they want,what they want and how they want things to go.
There are a lot of emotions invested and involved.
Considerable posturing and power plays to be heard and explored as well as determining if it is worth it.
There are people both male and female that will cross the line or play too close to the edge in an attempt to get a chance with someone that is married or in a relationship.
This awakening and understanding of victimization of girls,women and the cases where there were boy and men that are victims is not new and we have to wonder why the entire new media is determined to report this (injustice)as only happening among the rich and famous?
And what of the Celebrities That now say “The was a bad situation” and “This Is a bad person” Should we be asking.
Why did you allow other young ladies to meet and greet these predators?
In the 5,10, 20 years since your initial encounter there may have been 100’s more victims.
This is referred to as victim blaming.
It use to be called good citizenship.
Looking out or protecting someone.
This is a mere observation because we have much work to do.
I do know about you but I believe that we need to revamp and remodel the entire system starting with our children.
I believe that we have a broken formula and it needs to be tweaked,
I believe that there is way too much sexualizing of women and girls.
I believe that women that work on jobs that require them to “Greet” ((flirt) and be extra nice to men are putting them at a disadvantage or at risk because we live in a world where Smile, Nice and Flirt means you like me.
There are many reasons to disband all beauty contest and all cheerleading programming.
I know, this may be considered victim blaming.
We must get a clear idea of what it is that we want and at the same time consider that as humans there is a more likely than not chance that we will screw it up.
And as we create these “Bad Man” scenarios we must consider one thing “Our Boys will eventually become Men”…
And just take a look at our Women there is very little value placed on them.
I mean imagine what it may have looked to earlier or ancient generations.
The woman is responsible for populating the planet.
Let me say it another way.
Woman is a God or at least a Goddess.
And as we began to understand that man would a contributor to the idea of populating (However Small)
The greatest contribution comes from Mom and it is a good thing.
So what happened to us? We are more advanced and very smart it seems.
We do not value each other and place even less value on our women.
And while a lot of guys have a word or choice words towards or about womankind.
“Your Little Girl ( Daddy’s Baby) will not remain a Girl even though she will forever be “Daddy’s Baby”
While for now we (Men) have to stand strong regarding the place that we find ourselves and the climate.
One thing is for certain.
The word “Victim”must be clearly identified and understood.
When you and I move around in and out of our day through different venues.
We must look at how we (Male and Female)
Act,React and Respond.
If we are honest and honesty is important moving forward.
We must be willing to refrain from the idea of business as usual,retrain our thinking about Male/Female interactions. In order to maintain a civil and progressive society…