Parents have an incredible “Superpower “
That if used at its minimum can change a life, a community and even the world.
Most children will disagree because other than that brief period from 0-10, parents are only making their life miserable.
In my experience as the other parent (Dad) I attempted to minimize the role as the “nuisance parent “ by building independent children, very early in my children’s lives.
Parents today have an added member in the family unit that has slowly made and is making the role of parents obsolete.
The Cellular Phone (Cell Phone)
Something that was introduced as an assistant or family tool, used to coordinate schedules and make the family more secure.
but has not only replaced friends it has also replaced family mainly parents.
It controls every aspect of our children’s world
How they think.
What they think.
If they’ll think.
Which makes it almost impossible for a child be a family member or to go to school and be a student.
What’s the point ?
A 14 year old said to me when I asked why was he in detention (A room where students that are disruptive are sent)
The number 1 of 5 problems that occur in our schools today have been magnified by social media and cellphone use.
Jessica was suspended from school because of a “Smiley face” emoji that she posted on social media that led to and altercation in the school cafeteria.
Apparently Samantha (Jessica’s friends) was upset that Jessica put a smiley face on her ((Samantha’s) boyfriends post.
These are the distractions and incidence that take place in our schools and community that are directly connected to cell phone use and it begins with (in many cases) the parents abuse of it.
Distracted Parenting :
Many of the things that we are now blaming our children for are actually something that they’ve “Copied and Pasted” from our behavior.
I’ve watched entire families out to dinner or at an amusement park everyone including the child in the stroller has an A.D.D (Alternative Distraction Device)
I will also say that it may be the result of what happens when parents are overwhelmed and overcome with the responsibilities that come with parenting and they use their cell phone and break or respite.
It may also be the result of poor planning (having children too soon or at all) or any number of things that we create whether they are real or made up to avoid accepting responsibility.
As parents we are the ones that get the report and blame for what occurs or what doesn’t occur in our children’s lives.
What is also sad is that many times we don’t know.
And most times we have no idea of where to look.
That is a problem and that is “ The Problem ”.
I mean for real…” How Do We Fix It?”
LETS GET SOME HELP:
Children are learning how to use cell phones and receiving their own at younger ages than ever before. Since teenagers have grown up in an era where cell phone use has been ingrained in them at such a vulnerable age, they are very susceptible to developing an addiction to their smartphones and/or social media.
The human brain isn’t finished developing until around the age of 25 years old.6
If a child or teenager suffers from a cell phone addiction, it could have negative implications on brain development.
Research has revealed that there are a few adolescent personality traits associated with Internet addiction, which is closely related to smartphone addiction. These traits include:5
These individuals tend to be worrisome, fearful, pessimistic, and shy.17
Altered reward dependence.
The teen becomes dependent on rewards associated with the internet or cell phone as opposed to natural rewards such as spending time with friends and family, getting good grades, or partaking in hobbies.18
Effects Of Teen Smartphone Addiction :
Smartphone addiction is closely related to Internet addiction, which is considered an impulse-control addiction. Teens who are addicted to the Internet tend to experience the following:
Decreased brain connectivity in parts of the brain that regulate emotions, decision-making, and impulse-control.4
An increased likelihood to consume alcohol and use tobacco.11
An increased likelihood to have poor dietary habits.11
Increased levels of social loneliness.12
Additionally, addiction to a cell phone could lead to a number of harmful ramifications such as:
Neck pain associated with looking down at a cell phone for too long.
Digital eye strain.13
Burning and itching of eyes and blurred vision associated with looking at a screen for at least 2 hours.
Research has revealed that texting and driving is just as dangerous as drunk driving.
Teen Social Media Use:
Teenagers utilize many different forms of social media–such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter–which allow them to connect with their peers. While these applications provide the user with the ability to connect with others all around the world and access news and information, they also can lead to compulsive and problematic cell phone use, cyberbullying, sexting, and Facebook depression, a term coined by researchers to define the depression associated with excessive social media use.6
Research has revealed:7
92% of teens say that they go online daily, while 24% consider themselves to be online “almost constantly.”
Over half of teenagers go online many times a day.
94% of teenagers access the Internet via their smartphones at least once a day, if not more.
Facebook is the most-commonly visited social media site for teens (71%), followed by Instagram (52%), then Snapchat (44%).www.psychguides.com
I used the title “The Parent Rap” because when we say it he hear “The Parent Trap”
We Must Take The Rap :
Although I never saw the movie or it’s remake, anytime that I’d see it (the title ) think of a parent related title for my YouTube channel or a Blog for reasons I cannot explain “The Parent Rap” come to mind.
After a brief google.com search I see what the movie was all about.
In some ways it does connect to my Blog. Not the part where twins work to reunite their divorced parents. But, the idea that the part of twins is played an individual.
Stay with me:
The adolescent can sometimes appear as two people in one body as in this tale where the role of the twins being played by a single character.
How many times have we or other parents suggest that they don’t know what has gotten into their child or that they don’t know who’s child they (Their Own) child is?
This is a question we must ask ourselves and answer honestly.
Does My Child Have A Cell Phone Addiction:
If you suspect that your teenager is suffering from an addiction to his or her smartphone, there are some signs and symptoms to be on the lookout for in your teen:
Significant weight change.
Change in diet.
Change in sleep patterns.
Depressed or irritable mood.
Flat affect or facial expression.
Little interest in activities they once found enjoyable.
Difficulties paying attention.
Withdrawal from social interaction or activities.
Neglecting other activities and is constantly on his or her phone.
Sore neck or headaches.
Experiencing anxiety when without his or her cell phone or service.
Experiencing “phantom vibration syndrome,” which means checking his or her phone when it hasn’t vibrated or rung.
Using his or her cell phone while driving or crossing the street.
If you are concerned about your adolescent’s cell phone addiction, talk to his or her pediatrician about treatment for a smartphone or social media addiction or call the number above to learn more about recovery.
Treatment For Teen:
Although cell phone addiction is a relatively new behavioral addiction that isn’t formally in the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) yet, there are a few different rehabilitation centers that specialize in treating teen smartphone addiction, such as:
Outpatient teen treatment.
Counseling with certified staff.
Life coaching to address interpersonal and developmental deficits.
Paradigm Malibu Adolescent Treatment Program.8
Puts limitations on use while in treatment.
Assesses for co-occurring disorders.
Family Boot Camp.9
Treats teens with a cell phone addiction and their parents.
Guided by therapists and outdoor specialists.
Learn to live without technology.
If you suspect that your teen suffers from an addiction to his or her cellphone, it can be battled. Help your teen regain control of his or her life. Don’t hesitate to call 1-866-219-9429 to learn about different rehabilitation options available for him or her.
This Is Good Stuff:
I have had several contacts and communications with youths as well as adults concerning cell phones use and as I mentioned earlier in this Blog our children have the ability to copy poor or abusive behavior and without realizing “Paste” that very behavior.
We must set the example,even though we may not be there yet:
In my Blog “Monkey see,Monkey do “! I attempt to explain these types of behaviors and that they do exist.
Our children rarely follow our words,but they will follow our deeds:
Whenever we as parents want to correct our children’s behavior we attempt to go after (attack) the behavior with subtraction and division instead of addition and multiplication.
No I’m not doing a math exam for parents.
I am working on a Blog called “Parallel Universe” :
It will be part of my IGod & Android series. The idea of this Blog is to connect the dots. Everything that takes place in our lives is connected and there is a clear messages that we learn from our experiences.
Cool Huh?…I Said The Same Thing.
Some of our most dreaded episodes may be an answer to a prayer or the result of something we must learn and in some cases may be us reaping what we have sown ( Karma) .
Everything is connected:
I used that shameless plug and an opportunity to invite you to my other Blogs. Yep, I did.
But in reference to what is our responsibility to our children when it come to being a role model I want to be clear.
Back To The Math Analogy:
our children respond better when we are creative in our guidance.
The average parent that observe their children with an addiction or overusing anything will consider removing it from them or them from it.( Subtract)
Also there are parents that will attempt to separate the youth from the thing that has caused the poor or irresponsible behavior (.Divide)
These are good ideas and have worked for decades.
In the Blog “The 10 Commandment Of Parenting “
By Arnold Mrdadtate the 6th commandment is
6.) Discipline is designed to direct .
So as a parent when we set a expectation though discipline and our purpose is direction or redirection we are on track to get our child / children cured.(Addiction)
I Like That:
Another area of development and support s for the parents to realize that they are their child’s very first and role.
And part of our role as parents is that we guide our children by our behavior.
So let’s put our phones down.
Let’s turn our phones off.
Let’s avoid yelling so much.
The best way to get our children to buy this behavior is to sell it ,and sell it well.
The parents rap is where we find ourselves and even though we do not have all the answers.
We will begin to listen to and understand the questions.
The questions that they use Literally as well as the ones that they ask us by their behavior.(behavior speaks) so pay attention.
Oh, I forgot:
This is when we find the best approach to get the desired behavior / response that we want from our children and multiply our efforts.( redouble our efforts) if it works, work it…
Facebook,Twitter and Instagram will be fine and you’ll win you family back.
I will be worth it.