“We hear it all the time, what happened to my little girl”
“My son was an honor roll student all through grade school”
“We raised our children in the church”.
These are the stories that we tell ourselves and others when we have to face a difficult family moment.
There are many people that say that they are looking for answers.
“What happened to my perfect little niece”.
We have a set of beliefs that seem to protect us from any if not all things that may seem eye opening or may make us feel guilty, ashamed or embarrassed about something our children have done or are doing.
What have our children become?
What have our children been accused of?
It’s tough and it may be difficult to hear but there are ways to fix this stream of negative and disheartening comments.
Earshot is a word that we no longer use. But this term was widely used when I was growing up.
the range or distance within which a sound, voice, etc., can be heard.
We had a rule or should I say tradition in my childhood home.
Well several rules:
Children should be seen and not heard.
No back talk or talking back.
Stay in a child’s place.
Yes ma’am no ma’am or yes sir, no sir is how we responded to all adults.
These were the rule and there would be no discussion (That would back talk)
Another rule was we didn’t listen to or “butt in “ adults conversations.
When adults were speaking we would be ask to leave the room.
“Grown folks are talkin” …they would say.
There were a number of reasons that we had to be excused.
They (parents) may want to use profanity (Bad Words)
They may want to discuss something about us.
They may say something that they wouldn’t want repeated.
The idea was that if they said anything within an “Earshot “ of the children it may corrupt our innocence.
It may make them ( The Adults) look bad or irresponsible.
We didn’t understand this tactic. And many times we thought that they were keeping something from us.
We were right.
The Earshot rule serves as a “Guidewire” or a “Protective” barrier from the children in order for the childhood experience to remain pure (Uncorrupted) and innocent “ignorance” was truly bliss in the world of the “Grown Folks “
This was a good thing and I thank my Mother and the adults of my youth for their “Consideration “ and “ Mindfulness “.
The brain of the child is like a magnet. Some refer to it as a sponge that takes in any and all information.
And even when the child doesn’t know. “ What it is” or “how they may use it” the child’s brain will store it.
Babies listen and learn while in the womb
The new research suggests that babies began to absorb language when they are inside the womb during the last 10 weeks of pregnancy — which is earlier than previously held. Newborns can actually tell the difference between their mother’s native tongue and foreign languages just hours after they are born. http://www.webmd.com
It depends on how pregnant you are. Your baby will start to hear between 23 weeks and 27 weeks. The constant beat of your heart is the clearest sound for him, but he’ll also be able to hear some of the things going on around you.
Your baby will only hear low-pitched sounds to start with. These sounds will be mostly what’s going on in your body, such as blood pumping through your vessels, your tummy gurgling and your breathing.
Between about 29 weeks and 33 weeks your baby starts to make out high-pitched sounds too, such as a child’s cry or a car alarm.
You may be able to tell if your baby can hear sounds outside your womb (uterus) by playing music, and reading or talking to him. If he can hear what’s going on, he may respond by moving around more.
Studies of newborn behaviour show that babies get used to the music and voices they’ve heard in the womb. When your baby is born, if he hears sounds he’s heard before birth, he may respond by appearing more alert and active. Your newborn may also pay more attention to your voice than any other.
As your unborn baby can’t see or touch the outside world, hearing is the one sense that helps him to prepare for life after birth. Knowing your voice before he’s born helps him form that strong bond with you afterwards.
In fact, some people think that the reason babies learn to hear in the womb is so that they can bond with their mothers more easily once they’re born.
It’s also likely that your baby’s ability to hear helps him start to understand speech rhythms. This is the first step on the long road to learning how language works.
You may be concerned about what noise levels are safe for your baby. Experts don’t know what effect loud sounds may have on your baby’s wellbeing. Rest assured that your baby is well-insulated in your womb. Your gut instinct is probably the best indication of whether something’s too loud or not.
If you choose to wait until your baby’s born before you sing, chat and read to him, it won’t hold back his development in any way. Everything your baby needs to prepare for life outside the womb will filter through naturally, as you go about daily life.
Wondering what to sing to your baby in the womb? Our selection of top lullabies will inspire you, and they may also help to soothe him once he’s born.
Last reviewed: June 2017
This article was written using the following sources:
Arabin B. 2002. Music during pregnancy. Ultrasound Obstet Gynecol 20(5):425-30 onlinelibrary.wiley.com [Accessed October 2014]
DeCasper AJ and Fifer WP. 1980 . Of human bonding: newborns prefer their mothers’ voices. Science 208(4448):1174-6
DeCasper AJ et al. 1986 . Prenatal maternal speech influences newborns’ perception of speech and sound. Infant Behavior and Development 9:133-150
Hepper PG, Shahidullah BS. 1994 . Development of fetal hearing. Arch Dis Child 71(2):F81-7 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov [Accessed October 2014]
James DK et al. 2002. Fetal learning: a prospective randomized controlled study. Ultrasound Obstet Gynecol 20:431-438
Kisilevsky BS, Hains SM, Lee K, et al. 2003. Effects of experience on fetal voice recognition. Psychol Sci 14(3):220-4
Kisilevsky BS, Hains SM, Brown, et al. 2009. Fetal sensivity to properties of maternal speech and language. Infant Behav Dev 32(1):59-71
Mampe B, Friederici AD, Christophe A, et al. 2009. Newborns’ cry melody is shaped by their native language. Curr Biol 19(23):1994-7
Smith LS, Dmochowski PA, Muir DW, et al. 2007. Estimated cardiac vagal tone predicts fetal responses to mother’s and stranger’s voices. Dev Psychobiol 49(5):543-7
In utero,while in the womb they (The Unborn Child) can hear?
This is an interesting fact and one that can be or appear to have been overlooked by medical professionals as it relates to the prenatal care experience.
What if you knew that your child’s seeming disliking or resistant towards a family has an potential root cause.
Every conversation, argument or abusive episode.
Everyone word of love and care is creating a bridge or a fence to their (Your Child’s) outer world perception.
What will they learn :
The lesson that they will learn from their first teacher (The Parent ) will become part of a permanent file that will create the person they (The Children) will become.
When we speak to our children or we speak about or against them that may be another file.
The television (Programming) both theirs and yours is another file.
How can we know or when do we know that our child has gotten a message?
How can we accept the idea that we have given our children a wrong message or have been the wrong example?
When they are born we try our best to guide them to make sure that they know what is right or what is wrong, even as we live outside of what may be considered right or wrong.
“Do what I say,not what I do”…
Our young children have our undivided attention as we give them instructions so that they feel safe and cared for.
But at some point we, without even realizing it began to remove our tight grip and we recognize that they are becoming less dependent or independent.
But wait are they?
Is this independence?
I will say yes,they are becoming independent.
There are communications that we have with our young children that are soft and sweet.
Bless you ( When They Sneeze)
Ooh, you made a tinkie ( When they filled their diaper)
And without warning “ We Stop”
Our children get accustomed to the love the way we love and as they grow we as parents lose our way.
We make a shift or change without realizing how or if it has a long term effects or consequences.
We are saying to our infants when they can’t even understand “Are You Okay “…
When anything happens or any sound that they make.
And change our speech towards our children to more of correction and direction.
No more, “Bless You”
No more, “Are You Okay “
No more, “Please” or “Thank you “
But it isn’t that we stop talking, we just stop talking to them ( Our Children)
We talk to the television and on our cell phones without end and they ( Our Children) has better interrupt us.
It also isn’t that they stop listening , in fact their listening is what this blog is all about.
Our children are learning and evolving by all the thing that enter their space.
Also idle time equals idle minds.
It is at these times that our children are an opportunity to view their files of direction.
These file will be filled with the everything that our children have seen and heard with no clear understanding of what it all means.
It will be in these idle moments that our children will develop into “who or what” we don’t know.
We are the gatekeepers and protectors of our children minds and if we fail “They Fail”
Even when they go out or we send them with older siblings.
Much of the naughty or off behavior that we may see in our children is the result of older siblings as well as visiting friend and relatives homes.
There are a lot of “Adult and Mature “ episodes that take place within an ”Earshot” of our children.
There is no point in blaming others for something that we may be responsible for as well.
I’ve watched teenagers walking by my home with a younger siblings.
Cursing (Using Profanity)
Punching and grabbing them.
Facing the reality of what our children are or what they will become is tough enough for us as parents without the idea that we might be equally responsible for it.
The “Earshot “ rule worked and will Work if we work it.
We will however have to create inroads and bridges for the communication gaps that may sometimes appear.Arnoldmrdadtate
Check out the 10 Commandments Of Parenting by Arnoldmrdadtate.
It will put things into perspective.
Being a parent is a tough enough job without being a micromanager however we must give it our absolute best effort.
My previous words may be considered “final thoughtish” but as a parent in this day when we have these smartphones and social media along with mainstream media and movies promoting and setting programs that have the power to lead or mislead the masses, our children may become entangled in its web.
We can’t get too busy with our ( Status,Reputation or Likes & Shares)
We must stay awake and aware greatness Awaits.