“Not All Father’s Are Created Equal”

On this Father’s and throughout the year I speak to Father’s that in an effort to create some kind of bond ask questions like do you believe that Father’s get a bad deal?

When I ask, what do you mean?

The response is always a “Mother’s” or Mother’s Day comparison.

My position is always that I don’t compare Mother’s with Father’s, and in fact I don’t want to imagine what a Mother has done or will do for her children.

Face it Mother’s ( Not women with children)

But Mom,and Grandma’s Rock!

I usually end our conversation with “Not All Father’s Are Created Equally”

So I’d like to share in this blog some of my thoughts on Fatherhood.

And when you have an opportunity take the time to read my blog ” The Ten Commandments Of Parenting By Arnoldmrdadtate”

Father are different from Mother’s is something that a child can teach much better than I can.

This is the problem when it comes to a grown man attempting to wonder why Mother’s Day is different from Father’s Day.

The number one problem that I see with us Father’s is that we have this imaginary idea of roles and responsibilities.

Big Mistake.

We must do what we must do.

I have a 20/80 rule for Dad’s

20% of what you say and 80% of what you do.

So Father’s have to help with homework.

We must do bedtime duty.

We must hold and comfort our children when they are confused or sad.

We must visit our children’s school as well as drop-off and pick-up from school.

The summer visiting and weekend time should not be at the movies or at Dad’s Mom’s house.

When the children out of state it is imperative that we make every moment matter and television and the movie theaters will become their teachers and mentors.

Don’t let them.

Finally

This is an important one.

No matter how busy we get, we must pause any and every time our child speaks to us or seemingly interupt us.

When my children would see me reading they might say, hey Dad?

Oh I see you’re reading.

I’d would say, “It’s ok , you are more important than this book”

No, that is not always the way I felt, but it created the idea that my children mattered and were important.

Also there is a point that is like to make.

Your children should see you reading (often) and it should be a book.

(Put down the phone)

Remember 20/80

Final Thoughts

First time Father’s as well as Grandparents (Father’s) will observe what they believe is independence.

It is not.

What it is, is an example of our child grasping or understanding the things that we taught or are teaching them.

They want to feel confident. But, do not make the mistake of thinking they are good or got it.

They are getting good and getting it.

We make a fuss over any and everything that they do.

Burp

Sneeze

Pass gas

Yarn

Fill their diaper

Everything is worthy extra attention.

When our children are babies up to the time they toddlers we are a 24/7 cheer squad and when we sense they are getting more confident we pull back.

Don’t do it…

Oh, and one more thing

Words are seeds

So, be mindful of your power Dad’s and put less focus on what others think Father’s Day should be.

Remember

“Not All Father’s Are Created Equal”

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