“Mind Changing Can Be Mind Blowing”

As I have learned and accepted my place in the world and some of the things that may occur as part of it or as a result of it, there is one thing that I’ve realized in time. “S#&t happens”

I have a saying: Be careful what you say ( Ask For)

not only will you get it, you will not recognize it because it the process (Adversity) it won’t in anyway resemble your request.-Arnoldmrdadtate-

Huh?

What I am saying is that anything we say or believe has the ability to take place in our lives.

And there’s a lot.

And the time.

The process isn’t fun,kind or pretty.

We don’t “Recognize” or “Realize” because the process (Preparation ) is sometimes painful or uncomfortable.

There may be people very close to us that leave us or behave differently.

There may be any number of things that will take place that will look like at our first glance it is out to get us or defeat us

but, taking a closer look or should I say having a clearer account of the things that we say or allow to become our thoughts “things appear clearer”

Or do they ?

One example:

Idle talk is one thing that we tend to do when we are hanging with friends or family and may appear to be innocent but, we sometimes will say things like “I want more” or I deserve better “ there may become a unending amount of created or invited energy that we bring into our own lives these seemingly meaningless words.

Sometimes we brag or boast about who we are or make remarks about someone else’s path to greatness.

No matter what we do, if we do not get control of our thoughts, because our thoughts produce and encourage the words.

We feel that we need to and are told we need to watch what we say.

shhh…don’t say this or that?

If we do not control our words we will have a life filled with unexpected, unexplained and unimaginable situations.

And that’s putting it lightly.

As I write this blog our world is changing and the tax on the words say is at a all time high.

Whether on social media or in person, in the letters we write, our words will play over and over again. Oh and by the way the idea of trying to defend yourself is now considered “Shameful “

It also is considered an excuse or a lie and will only make you look worse.

“Guilty Until The Internet Absolves (Exonerates) You”

For most, this will be “Never” because as you will see in my blog “Revenge Of The Nerds” there are a bunch of people with there own set of problems that are not going to take their foot off of your neck no matter what.

So how do we get control of our words?

You may ask.

And what happens when I get angry? (I Can Still Get Angry Can’t I?)

I’m a consultant I am no expert and for the record there are no experts. Because we are always learning “What We Don’t Know”…

For me I’ve managed to embrace the idea of practicing making or creating perfection .

What?

Huh?

My way of gaining control.

I workout.

All day.

Everyday.

I call it a #wordkout .

These are a group of words that are reminders and guides to fine tune my response system.

60 second wordkout :

Smile,Smile,Smile… I say it over and over again. Smiles have “Supernatural Powers)

Pause: Pause is not stop and Stop is not pause. Everyday and in every situation pause. The pause will guarantee the best response .” Pausation” smile and then speak or respond. Say pause over and over again

Be kind. This is not possible to do without practice and is also very difficult to do because kindness is considered weakness some say. So I say these words over and over to remind myself of its importance.

Smile-Pause-Be Kind

3 exercises and I must say that when I first started doing these exercises it was tough and any day that I would miss I’d see the difference.

These ( what I refer to as exercises) may seem silly but give them a try.

The mind is an interesting and altogether different area to train.

Because it has so many levels of what it is, how it works and where it get its information.

Training the brain is not what I am doing for myself nor is it what I would encourage of others.

What I will say is that I realize certain things

Patterns

Behaviors

Addictions

And weaknesses that give me the idea that I’m stuck.

I know that I want more and I need more however I remain in a cycle of “Blah”

Blah is a feeling that I have no power to change the situation, or

who,what or all that I am where will I end up?

What I find myself doing to change this “Blah”

Is .

I eat something different ( Something I haven’t had in a while) or hadn’t ever eaten.

Take a trip ( It May be local) but it will disrupt my pattern and challenge the “Blah”

Play or listen to a different genre of music than I generally listen to.

There are any number of things that we can do to disrupt and reboot our minds.

Changing our minds should actually be a thing and it should also become a daily,weekly or monthly thing.

If at any time you have the time check out my YouTube channel “In my car with my cigar” Tell-A-Vision .This is an area where our minds are powerless to determine what is real from what is not.

Television, Radio, Social Media create produce mind pollutants.

But for now I will leave you with these words.

What if I told you that your life really is a journey and that everyone of your responses (Reactions) produces a “Go” or “No” algorithms and this is why it is taking so long for you to find yourself #eduTate

“The Sensitive Naked Man (Woman)”

The Saturday Night Live skit “The Sensitive Naked Man” is for me, one of the most ingenious and memorable skits ever.

Rob Schneider was hilarious .

I became a fan instantly and think about his ability to keep a straight face but also to sell the idea that nothing was wrong.

I no longer have a Hulu account and that is where I would be able to find the reruns so I’ll probably have to head to Walmart to find the season that has these particular episodes and be satisfied.

Saturday Night Live for me had a difficult time maintaining steady laughs (For Me) and so when I would see the Rob Schneider preview I was certain that I would be in for a laugh.

I certainly was attempting to do a promotion’ to Saturday Night Live or even a Rob Schneider tribute.

What I was attempting to do was address a common occurrence in people all around the world.

A world that says “Do You” without a clear idea of what “ You Is” or should I say you are?

The idea that Correction, Etiquette, and Class do not matter or are irrelevant.

Or even the suggestion (Audacity) to a friend or family member that they shouldn’t eat,wear or do something because of the consequence.

A world where we’ve become so inclusive that we bar the idea of screening or monitoring our intake.

Not just talking about food.

I’m talking about information.

Criticism or Complement.

No, Not yet or Never

And all the lies that we tell ourselves based on the inclusivist ideology of

You’re Fine.

Don’t Change.

They Hatin’

Do You.

Only God Can Judge Me.

Inclusivist want a world where anything goes and there aren’t and cannot be any restrictions or rules.

There is another word for that.

Lawlessness.

Or

Anarchy.

The rules are ever changing.

And it is a matter of time before we self destruct.

The idea that it is someone else’s fault is not new.

In the old days we referred to it as “Blaming”

Imagine “The Sensitive Naked Man” walking around day after day and even though it is clear to everyone else that he has no clothes on and that “ “THIS IS A PROBLEM”

He sees the look of outrage, disdain and “What that?” On our faces and wants to know what the actual problem (It Can’t Be Him)

He doesn’t see it as a problem.

He insists that it is something else that is wrong with us.

Something deeper.

Even sinister.

There is another inclusivist tool that exists called social media.

Where people that actually have higher intelligent (Not Just Degrees) but people that “Think Before They Speak” type,comment or post.

And these people are placed in a pool where anyone is able to swim.

Or should we say “WEB”

This pool is filled with everyone else has a thought ( maybe we shouldn’t say thought)

IDEA… that’s it, idea.

Social Media provides

Equal ground.

Even Playing Field.

Same airspace and airtime.

And depending on how many people we get to

Agree with

Comment

Like

Share

We could become “ Somebody”

The internet has become a place where those that do not know meet those that half know and those that know and create a world that doesn’t want to know anything.

Something we want to support our friends and family in their quest to maintain a full life and all they hear is us calling them “FAT”

Criticizing them.

Or judging them.

As we take a look at a man that is clearly naked and is oblivious to that this is offensive and in poor taste.

Final thoughts:

We must consider the fact that if there are no rules or code of conduct, we will continue to have a communication gap.

And as we all enjoy the #excapation and #netventures that the internet provides we must draw a line in the sand to what we allow in our brain space. -Arnoldmrdadtate-

Also check out my blog “ Cell-phone” …

Kanye is no “ Con Yay”…

This Blog probably should be under my “Black Lies Matter” label because it is mostly based on something in the media and what is the (Black) community’s response.

I chose to create a stand alone piece that would share my perspective on a story (That is not a story) is filling my timeline and how the idea of going viral in an understatement.

What my title suggests is that Kanye is not a fraud.

I also want to celebrate this fact by adding the words “Yay”

Cool huh?

Kanye West is a troubled and when you listen to his earlier music and interviews you see a young man that was bullied and had a low self esteem.

His ability and love of music and his ability to create beats ( Taking a keyboard and creating unique sounds for artist singers and rappers)

There may also be a mixer and a computer for the purpose of sampling (borrowing previously recorded music)

This skill is very popular in the (Black) Community

And there are any number of ( Guys that make beats) everywhere that you may look .

In Chicago we have JesseParks.com

I do not want to speak to deeply into this unique skill,I only added this information to offer some history of the artist that some refer to as “Yeezus” (His Clothing Line)

This is interesting because, as a result of Jay-Z attempting to create his preeminence and power in the Rap arena began referring to himself as “Jayhovah” and then “Hov”…

Kanye wanted to Deify himself by using the name Yeezus” or Yeezy.

We see but ignore the obvious desire of this young fella to be seen and admired.

To be “Unbullied” and to be adored.

This is everything he wanted.

Even the idea that Kanye would have an admiration for a young Kim Kardashian and put it in a song, Who would have thought he even had a chance.

What is interesting about this love story is that it had less to do with Kanye and all about the Kardashian Brand.

These Kardashian’s whatever anyone thinks about it is a multimillion Brand and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down.

What may be a combination of timing,sextapes and the idea of capitalistic society is a business model that is being copied and pasted all over the internet.

One thing that does appear to be clear however.

NO BOYS ALLOWED …

This formula is designed and favors the ladies and I have to say,

GOOD FOR THEM…

Also I want to say that while everyone is feeling sorry for the men that get involved with these ladies it is an interesting story that I read online about Robert Kardashian the Patriarch of the Kardashian’s.

There is no end to what you can find, if you know where to look.

Robert Kardashian was one of attorneys in the O.J. case.

He was also a close friend of Orenthal James Simpson.

The shocking, scandalous marriage of Robert and Kris Kardashian

By Doree Lewak

August 5, 2017 | 1:19pm

You probably think you know everything there is to know about Kim Kardashian and her siblings.

But there is a little-known prequel — the twisted story of her parents Robert and Kris’ tempestuous marriage, which was marked by rampant philandering and scandal. Author Jerry Oppenheimer’s book “The Kardashians: An American Drama” (St. Martin’s Press, out Sept. 19) reveals patriarch Robert’s infatuation with Elvis Presley’s ex-wife Priscilla, Kris’ repeated infidelity and Robert’s confession to his pastor that Khloé Kardashian wasn’t his biological daughter.

Here, the highlights:

Forever immortalized as the stand-by-his-man supporter of pal O.J. Simpson, Robert Kardashian rose to notoriety when he served as a legal consultant on the “dream team” that won the athlete a not-guilty verdict in his infamous 1995 murder trial. Robert, a born-again Christian of Armenian descent, was born in 1944 to a wealthy Los Angeles family; he would later distance himself from the clan’s corrupt meatpacking empire. Despite standing a mere 5-foot-8 and being stricken with a thick white hairline streak in his otherwise jet-black mane, he was considered one of Beverly Hills’ most eligible bachelors in the 1970s.

Born in 1955, Kristen “Kris” Houghton came from “redneck” roots and was raised in San Diego by her tough-as-nails maternal grandmother after her alcoholic father left when she was 7. By 12th grade, Kris wasn’t dreaming about prom or college, but looking for a man — a rich one. High school pal Joan Zimmerman thought Kris’ mom, Mary Jo, was “kind of pimping her out” when the 17-year-old started a relationship with golf pro Cesar Sanudo, who was more than 10 years her senior. That ended when Kris met Robert — who thought the teenager looked like a young Natalie Wood, despite a necklace that read “OH, S – – T” — at a horse-racing track and cheated on her boyfriend with him.

As Jack Spradlin, a friend of Sanudo’s, said: “[Kris] saw a far better financial opportunity with Kardashian than with Cesar.”

Still, Robert thought Kris was too young for things to be serious, and soon dumped her for Priscilla Presley. He may have been besotted with the famous ex-wife of Elvis, but she only went out with Robert because “she had no one else to go out with,” according to a cousin.

A worldly and “kinky” Presley groomed Robert, telling him how to dress and what kind of car to drive. The relationship, however, would never escape the specter of her famous ex. Robert “complained to a friend that while he was making love to Priscilla, she would get incoherent phone calls from [her ex-husband] Elvis ‘and she would put the receiver on the pillow between them and let him listen,’ ” Oppenheimer writes.

Robert aimed to turn Priscilla into “the perfect Armenian housewife.”

“Priscilla once tried to make dinner for Robert because he kept asking her,” said Joni Migdal, his friend since childhood. “She cooked asparagus, and she made this, and she made that . . . She went out of her way to make it perfect for him, and he hated it.”

Priscilla was insulted. Soon, she told Robert: “I’m not going to marry anyone until Elvis dies.”

He wasn’t lonely for long. A heartsick Kris, by then an American Airlines flight attendant, had been destroyed by Robert’s relationship with glam Priscilla and readily took him back, moving into his Beverly Hills manse right away. He was a lawyer and entrepreneur who made a killing with one of his investments, driving both a Rolls-Royce and a Mercedes; she was scraping by and had nothing to her name. Still, her fancy beau refused to give her money for anything, including much-needed new tires for her old Mazda.

“She needs to learn the value of a dollar,” Robert told Migdal. Ironically, this would backfire on Robert after he married Kris in 1978. Once they shared bank accounts, she would rebel against his prior constraints by becoming monstrously extravagant. When she dropped three grand on a single belt, her husband was apoplectic: “Can you f – – king believe that? Who needs a belt for $3,000?”

Where he failed to mold Priscilla into the perfect submissive housewife, Robert was determined to succeed with young Kris. Friends told Oppenheimer about how he was “totally turned on” by the 1975 movie “The Stepford Wives.”

“[It] was the model for Robert’s marriage to Kris,” said Migdal. According to another friend, “He had a fantasy about being able to dominate women.” As a way of grooming his high school-educated bride, Robert gave her self-help audiotapes to teach her how to throw a party and decorate for the holidays.

“Kris would say, ‘Oh God, I have to finish these tapes before the week is out because we’re going to talk about them,’ ” recalled friend Larry Kraines.

Robert, who had adorned his car with a fish insignia to show his born-again status, kept copies of the Bible on his nightstand, on his desk and on his person at all times.

While Kris attended church with her husband, Robert’s pastor, Kenn Gulliksen, harbored doubts about her sincerity: “I just sensed that Kris saw in Bob a kind of gold mine. Robert was a very generous man, and that was . . . good for Kris.”

After daughters Kourtney and Kim were born (in 1979 and 1980, respectively), the family moved into a 7,000-square-foot estate in Beverly Hills’ most “prestigious” section, complete with tennis courts and a duck-shaped swimming pool. Kris’ audiotape lessons had paid off, and the home became “party central.”

They often hung out with Robert’s friend O.J. Simpson. Sometimes, Simpson would have Kris call a very young girl — “possibly still in high school” — whom he was seeing, in case her parents answered. Then she would hand him the phone.

It seemed the family was flourishing. Robert had sold one of his businesses, the trade publication Radio & Records, “for a bundle.” But with the 1984 arrival of their third child, Khloé, the couple couldn’t ignore an elephant in the room: They hadn’t had sex during the time she had to have been conceived.

Gulliksen recalled that “it was my strong impression from him that [Robert] loved Khloé very much, but he said it in a way that implied that ‘She’s not my blood daughter.’ ”

He was unwilling to take a DNA test to confirm it, and told Migdal that “whoever her father is . . . she is my child.” Years later, his two subsequent wives — Jan Ashley and Ellen Pierson — attested that Robert claimed that Khloé wasn’t his biological daughter.

Soon, Kris’ affairs would be more out in the open. Despite all the blessings — and bling — of a charmed Beverly Hills life, she became “bored and rebellious.” After getting a new pair of breasts, she reportedly decided she wanted freedom.

I do not want to get into the whole story however if you want to read the rest checkout http://www.pagesix.com The shocking, scandalous marriage of Robert and Kris Kardashian.

I share this article so that we are clear about the Kardashian’s Matriarch (Kris Jenner) and why she plays to win.

We will get back to Kanye but, this will help us understand why Kanye was such a perfect “Mark” I mean, “ Pawn” uh, I mean addition…

There is a snippet in this article where we see Kris humble beginnings.

But there is also another part where Kris husband Robert was grooming young Kris after seeing the 1975 movie The Stepford Wives also

Robert tried and failed to turn Priscilla Presley into a perfect Armenian wife.

It is the Stepford wife story that really caught my eye.

In case you haven’t had a chance to see the movie.

There is a town by the name of Stepford that a husband and wife while visiting notice the though there were families there, it seemed the the housewives were too involved in the idea of compliance and submission.

I don’t want to spoil the story (This is a must see)

When I watch the list of guys that were involved or even interested in the kardashian ladies I began to wonder.

“ARE THESE FUTURE STEPFORD HUSBANDS ?“

Kanye was a perfect fit.

What bugs me at this time is that there are a lot of people that have forgotten that this guy say strange things.

All the time

With thought or not.

For a reason or no reason.

Many people also forget how many times they gave up on Kanye.

And this is why we must believe that his present rant is a Publicity stunt.

Things that Kanye said?

-George Bush doesn’t care about Black People-.

This was after Hurricane Katrina.

-My greatness pain in life is that I will never be able see myself perform live-

-Visiting my mind is like visiting a Hermès factory-.

Wow,What?…Wait

-Rough night? Fur pillows are actually hard to sleep on-

Woe…

I don’t even listen to rap, my apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.

Huh?

Sometimes I get emotional over fonts.

Guard…Guard…

“I’ve put myself in a lot of places where a vain person wouldn’t put themselves in,” West revealed to W magazine in June 2013. “Like, what’s vanity without wearing a kilt?”

Even frequent flyers have their moments! “I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me,” the Adidas designer tweeted in October 2010. “Like, oh great, now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.”

Ok, one more ..Thanks Us magazine

This is the promotional tweet that is used to sell his latest project.

West made headlines in April 2018 for expressing his support for President Donald Trump. “You don’t have to agree with Trump but the mob can’t make me not love him,” the Yeezy designer wrote. “We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone.” http://www.usmagazine.com

Kanye is

WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS

We saw him.

We laughed at him.

We pitied him.

We watch him grab the mic from Taylor Swift.

We watch as he recorded and repeated over and over again that he made her.

But one thing that we cannot allow in good conscience do and that is.

ACT LIKE HE SURPRISED OR DISAPPOINTED US.

Cut it out.

Kanye represents Kanye

HE IS WHO HE’S ALWAYS BEEN

So stop acting as it he is anyone but a rapper that we sometimes listen to.

Also if you are the type that prays

PRAY FOR THEIR CHILDREN…Arnoldmrdadtate

“Cosby”

-The Unbelievable,Irresponsible and Unethical Story of America’s Dad-

This story has gone on for way to long.

Even with all the “Fake News” and “Racial Bias” Talk aside this is an example of one of what appears to be a case of mental illness.

Well, at least this is what (Where) it looks like it’s going.

Hold on give me a chance to share why.

William Henry Cosby according to Wikipedia was born July 12,1937 in Philadelphia Pennsylvania.

Accusations include:

Rape

Drug Facilitate sexual assault

Sexual Battery

Child Sexual Abuse or Sexual Misconduct.

To the untrained eye (mine included) it may appear that a man of Cosby is a man of means and physique like a Greek god (Once Upon A Time) shouldn’t have any problem getting women.

However, beneath what may appear to be normal was a sad and pathetic man that didn’t want a to deal with the idea of rejection.

At least that is what I am thinking.

Soooo, aside all the antics and the media circus that is spinning out of control,there are many live that have and will be affected by these crimes.

At the time I am writing this the second trial is over and Cosby has been found guilty on 3 counts.

It is also 10 years with each count.

I have been waiting to hear from a trained professional.

What do they have to say about his behavior.

It is even at one Cosby admits giving a drug to women with the intention of having sex with them.

Telling story of a 13 year old Cosby hearing of a drug ” Spanish Fly” that would enhance the ( woman’s) desire for sex as well as render her helpless to the man’s advances.

But why, why would he put himself (freedom ) in jeopardy?

Maybe Cosby has something called “Somnnopholia”

Mark D. Griffiths Ph.D.

In Excess

Doze Were the Days

A brief look at somnophilia

Posted Feb 04, 2014

Some signs or symptoms that may point to somnophilia include recurring thoughts regarding unconscious or sleeping individuals and feeling sexual urges when in contact with or in the proximity of those people. While there is speculation about treatment (e.g., hypnosis, behavioural therapy, and 12-step programs), it is not needed unless the behavior becomes destructive, problematic, and/or involves sexually criminal activity and becomes a legal issue. http://www.psycologytoday.com

There is a lot that we do not know about Cosby and as we and others cherrypick the stories to get the best circulation there is much to consider.

It was and is impossible for many to Imagine.

I Spy,dude

The creator of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids?

Cliff ( Heathcliff Huxtable) Nooooo…

His actual Family:

His wife (Camille) had (6) children and though one of his children passed (His Son.Ennis) their only son they have (5) other children all daughters that will be left to pick up the pieces.

Imagine the irony.

The story of Ennis being murder hasn’t gotten the airtime of the sexual abuse Story.

And in many it could have created a distraction.

Bill Cosby’s Son Is Slain Along Freeway

By B. DRUMMOND AYRES JR.JAN. 17, 1997

Ennis William Cosby, the only son of Bill Cosby, was shot to death early today on a Los Angeles freeway ramp in what the police said might have been a robbery attempt as he changed a flat tire.

He was one of five children of the most popular television father of the 1980’s, a hugely popular entertainer and best-selling author whose rollicking comedic routines draw heavily on the frustrations of fatherhood.

Ennis Cosby, a graduate student at Columbia University, was in Los Angeles to visit friends. Another motorist discovered his body, police investigators said, next to his dark green Mercedes-Benz sports convertible on the side of the road, its emergency lights blinking and its tire-changing equipment out.

http://www.newyorktimes.com

Bill Cosby is an accomplished individual.

His start in stand-up comedy began at the hungry i in San Francisco. He then landed a starring role in the 1960s television show I Spy, followed by his own sitcom, The Bill Cosby Show, which ran for two seasons from 1969 to 1971.

Using the Fat Albert character developed during his stand-up routines, Cosby created, produced, and hosted the animated comedy television series Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, a show that ran from 1972 to 1985, centering on a group of young friends growing up in an urban area. Throughout the 1970s, Cosby starred in a number of films, and he occasionally returned to film later in his career. He attended Temple University in the 1960s and received his bachelor’s degree there in 1971. In 1973, he received a master’s degree from the University of Massachusetts, and in 1976, he earned his Doctor of Education degree, also from UMass. His dissertation discussed the use of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids as a teaching tool in elementary schools.

Beginning in the 1980s, Cosby produced and starred in a television sitcom, The Cosby Show, which aired from 1984 to 1992 and was rated as the number one show in America for five years, 1984 through 1989.[1] The sitcom highlighted the experiences and growth of an affluent African-American family. Cosby produced the Cosby Showspin-off sitcom A Different World, which aired from 1987 to 1993, starred in The Cosby Mysteries from 1994 to 1995, starred in the sitcom Cosby from 1996 to 2000; and hosted Kids Say the Darndest Things for two seasons, from 1998 to 2000.

Numerous sexual assault allegations, the earliest of which date back decades, have been made against Cosby; these allegations did not become highly publicized until 2014. More than 60 women have accused him of rape, drug-facilitated sexual assault, sexual battery, child sexual abuse, and sexual misconduct. The statute of limitations has expired in nearly all accusations. On April 26, 2018, he was found guilty of three counts of aggravated indecent assault. http://www.wikipedia.org

With all of these accomplishments we yet ask

How?

Why?

I still believe without attempting in any to excuse or victim blame,

There is something “Mentally Wrong ”

I like this young lady’s take from the victims point of view.

My Take on the Bill Cosby Allegations — A Psychological Perspective

By Katherine Lee, LCSW

As a therapist who has worked with sexual assault victims, I’d like to shed light on the recent controversy regarding women who are now coming out about allegedly being raped by Bill Cosby. This is an issue that has raised alarm for various reasons: How could such an icon, known for playing a fatherly role, have committed such atrocities? Why did it take so long for these women to speak up? And does the delay in disclosure (a matter of years for most of these victims), lend their stories less credibility?

— Why did his victims stay quiet for so long?

There are a number of reasons why one who has been the victim of sexual assault might not disclose it. Think for a moment about a child who is being molested. Children (both male and female) who are molested often don’t disclose until adulthood, if at all. Aside from being threatened by the perpetrator, they may also feel frightened that the disclosure will split apart their family, or that their secret won’t be believed or validated by a parent/caregiver. While those exact reasons may not match up with the women in question who claim to have been raped, the intent to hide the abuse is the same. Disclosure of abuse, particularly that of sexual abuse, risks feelings of shame and rejection. The possibility that a famous celebrity who seems to have a “squeaky clean image” would abuse women in such a way seems incomprehensible to many. If an individual is scared that she (he) may feel blamed, or exposed in a negative light for being abused—that fear must be all the more harrowing when it’s at the hands of a worldwide icon.

— Why do we blame the victims?

One of the most fascinating theories in social psychology is the “Just-World Hypothesis,” or the “Just-World Fallacy.” This theory is about the need to believe that one gets what one deserves. It’s a means of rationalizing away the anxiety that comes with the fact that inexplicably bad things can happen, at random, to any person. Bill Cosby has been known, for years, as an upstanding actor who plays the role of a wholesome father on television. This makes it even more difficult for us to understand his alleged actions. It just doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t fit with the construction we’ve made up in our minds about who he is. Our psychological mechanism is then to shift blame for this incomprehensible action, at the hands of someone we believe to be “good”, on to the victim. Just as a family member may shun a child for “seducing” the perpetrator or breaking up the family, we blame the victims in this case in order to protect our pre-conceived notions about who the abuser must be. In the case of Cosby’s alleged victims, we may ask ourselves about why the women waited so long to tell their story, or we may wonder if there’s some hidden agenda behind why they’re all coming out at once. Assigning blame to these women brings us away from the awful truth that what might have happened really happened, and without answer.

Victims themselves are also privy to the Just-World Hypothesis. If we believe that our perpetrator is caring, charming, or powerful, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that we are in the wrong–that the rape or the assault is our fault, somehow. I believe that the gradual way in which Cosby’s alleged victims have come out of the woodwork now may be a result of hearing the other women’s stories. These women feel more empowered to disclose, because the sense of personalization and wrongdoing in each respective assault is now decreased. While we’ll likely never know the truth behind the allegations, it’s important to understand, from a psychological perspective, why this controversy raises concerns, and may inform how we choose to look at the situation.

I didn’t and didn’t want to think about this entire trial.

I just wanted it to go away. But as a Father,Grandfather and youth advocate I feel it is my duty to at least say .

This trial taught me:

I am aware of how Sexual Predatory Behavior may look and at the same time I’m wondering how in a world of information, that abuse against women is yet under recognized and reported. Arnoldmrdadtate

5 Things “First Date Advice “

Dating has gone through a major makeover or should I say something like “ What Tha Hell?”

With the internet version and the traditional boy meets girl scenario, there are a few No-no’s that I would like to share.

( Please If You Will Checkout My Brothers Blog) questioneverything39.wordpress.com “ Dating in the Evolution And revolution of online dating pt.1

It will offer addition support in the ever changing world of dating.

I however have (5) things that could give you a “Leg Up” in your first date experience.

I first of all want to address what I refer to as “The Cinderella Theory of Things”

What we:

Think

Fell

Fear

Say

Expect

Believe

Assume

-We are not who or what we appear to be-

Cinderella wasn’t …

This is on both sides and there are various degrees of understanding and misunderstandings about how we all enter this “Realm” (Dating)

While watching television the other day I saw an interesting dating commercial.

This man after being asked what he was looking for in a woman,listed what I hadn’t heard before as an expectation or quality in a relationship.

He listed “ Trusting “ as one of the things that he was looking for in a woman.

Now, that was a first for me.

And it is. For me probably the best.

Why, You say?

Because trust is the number one thing that affects any relationship.

A relationship is a partnership and a covenant.

We place our confidence in an individual or a group that has our trust. And we do not want at anytime to ever doubt their allegiance or protection of that trust.

So it is, when I heard the word “Trusting “ I immediately felt that this individual was “Trustworthy”

The Cinderella Theory of things is based on the fairy tale.

This is the oldest information that I found of this tale.

Cinderella (Italian: Cenerentola, French: Cendrillon, German: Aschenputtel), or The Little Glass Slipper, is a folk tale embodying a myth-element of unjust oppression and triumphant reward. Thousands of variants are known throughout the world.[1][2] The title character is a young woman living in unfortunate circumstances, that are suddenly changed to remarkable fortune. The story of Rhodopis, recounted by the Greek geographer Strabo in around 7 BC, about a Greek slave girl who marries the king of Egypt, is usually considered as the earliest known variant of the “Cinderella” story.[1][2][3] The first literary European version of the story was published in Italy by Giambattista Basile in his Pentamerone in 1634; the most popular version was published by Charles Perrault in Histoires ou contes du temps passé in 1697,[4] and later by the Brothers Grimm in their folk tale collection Grimms’ Fairy Tales in 1812.

Name

Cinderella

Also known as

Italian: Cenerentola,

French: Cendrillon,

Polish: Kopciuszek,

German: Aschenputtel,

Russian: Zolushka,

Dutch: Assepoester,

Spanish: Cenicienta.

Data

Aarne-Thompson grouping

ATU 510 A (Persecuted Heroine)

Region

Eurasia

Although the story’s title and main character’s name change in different languages, in English-language folklore “Cinderella” is the archetypal name. The word “Cinderella” has, by analogy, come to mean one whose attributes were unrecognized, or one who unexpectedly achieves recognition or success after a period of obscurity and neglect. The still-popular story of “Cinderella” continues to influence popular culture internationally, lending plot elements, allusions, and tropes to a wide variety of media. The Aarne-Thompson-Uther system classifies Cinderella as Tale Type 510A, Persecuted Heroine.[5]:24-26

wikipedia.org

I am drawing my “Theory “ from the Disney tale

as most would.

Because it will lend to our blog as we have a strong message to share.

It is a fact that I always look forward to sharing my life filled experiences.

It is also a fact that for so many years I had no idea that I even knew that I could write or that anyone would want to read the things that were in my mind.

But Cinderella?

Cinderella being a stepdaughter that treated very poorly and because of a miraculous (fairytale) event her life was morph into a world wind of love.

So that She and her Prince live “Happily Ever After”

The Cinderella Theory Of Things is based of a fact that “No one is as they appear “ and that even without a fairy godmother any of us can or will morph into whomever we desire.

However without further ado, here is our 5…

Number One: is Avoid oversharing.

A first date is an interview,every is on their best behavior and there are is a number of things that are shared that may be “Too much or too soon”

Some of the things that may be viewed as “Oversharing” are:

Previous suitors (Ex’s) these conversations are a no-no because depending on how long it’s been since your last relationship, you or your date may have a “Type” (this could be any number of things)

Types: revealing similarities in the people we date.

From heights to skin tone or even hairstyle and muscular build.

And he may be him or she may be her.And they may mask themselves base on what we say that we dislike.

And for this reason “Oversharing” is a No-No.

Number two: is No Sex (No Means No)

When it comes to sexual intimacy,sex or f@cking there are boundaries that “Cloud” the perception of both genders and once you enter this world (Sex) someone is going to lose.

The problem with having intercourse on the first date is it cloud everyone’s idea about the direction that they want to go. There is a exception to this rule and it is if both individuals are seeking a one night stand… in that case it isn’t a date and I will only say “ Maybe I’ll address this point of view in a future Blog”

When I say “Cloud” or “Clouds” what I want to make clear is that first date have a way of having some expectations and though everyone wants a happy ending there has to be a clear idea of what a “Happy Ending “ is.

And when sex is involved it tends to create an unwillingness to pursue each other or understanding where we may be going.

Sex is a No-No (Don’t Talk About It)

Number Three: If There Are Children Say So

This is a crucial part of a good beginning and it is also what is perceived as a game changer in some relationships.

For both men and for women.

Ladies sometimes have difficulty sharing the fact that they have children and in some cases how many fathers are involved and maybe there not

INVOLVED…

To this I say, anytime that you do not mention that you have children when you have interest in an individual It may be perceived as being dishonest or that there is more to your story, like. ( You’re Still Involved With The Child’s Father )

If you believe this is the one or you believe that he might be. Let him know ( It rarely matters)

But not sharing may come at considerable risk.

Men likewise, you have a responsibility to divulge this information.

To many time women find out that you have children and in some cases by several women.

There is a need for honesty at the dating and (first date) level and it will help to start things off on the right track.

Not talking about children is a No-No

Number Four: Having A Job

Being employed is a very part of the responsibility part of the first date.

For both parties I mean after all (Who’s Going To Pay For This Meal)

Part of any cooperative it is a good idea to have a stable job or a career.

Whether it is “What Do you,do?” or “Where Do You Work?” this is important.

Guys, you should be asking as well.

We should know where we are going or if we are going and it is a good idea to make sure no one is doing it alone.

Also it is part of the business aspect of relationships.

Not having a job or career is a No-No

Number Five: Do You Have Your Own Place?

This one right here is sooo, necessary to ask and it is in many cases asked weeks after the first date.

It is also important that it is asked by the men as well as the ladies.

Ladies if he lives with his mother that is a deal breaker.(In Most Cases)

And depending on how old he is, it may be time to (Ask For The Check)

When a man lives with his mom, even if he has a job,there is cause for concern, however there are some exceptions to this rule.

Divorce with child support.

His “Mom” is his baby mom.(Don’t do it)

School dept.

Legitimately helping Mom after she’s gone through a rough patch.

There may be any number of reasons (excuses) but make a decision that you are willing to live with or “Run For Your Life”

In the case where a woman is still at home with Mom or living with parents this may be a red flag.

Baby daddy issues (hanging around)

School debt.

Live in babysitting (parents)

There are also many concerns that come with a woman or man that is still at home with parent or parents.

The main one is the they somehow are unable to comprehend what it’s like living with anyone else (They Make Terrible Roommates)

Not knowing where your first date lives is a No-No

Sometimes I get started writing these blogs and my mind want to add 6,7,or 8 and I realize that I have to stop.

I am not your traditional Blogger.

I write from my thoughts and never write anything down.

All of my work is done from my iPhone and I only do occasional google searches because a friend told that if I don’t,

People will get the idea that I’m a “KNOW IT ALL” Arnoldmrdadtate

Black Lies Matter PT.10 “Acrimony”

As I write this piece I believe that it is fair to say that I am a fan of Tyler Perry the man, and I am also inspired by his motivational nuggets and life story.

I , if I am honest will also say that I always felt that his work was designed and directed towards Girls,Ladies and Womankind.

As a married man my wife and I occasionally would go to the movies as part of our date night and there were times that she would ask me to go with her to the latest Tyler release and I always respectfully decline

You see I had this idea about what his (Tyler Perry) movies would entail. that was until the movie Alex Cross,my wife is a big fan of the author of the Alex Cross novels James Patterson.

This was the perfect opportunity to give Mr. Perry another try.

I like murder mysteries.

It wouldn’t be religious.

And even though it was a Tyler Perry , it was based on a James Patterson novel.

This was the sell and as we saw this movie I had a chance to admire a great story and actually liked the performance of Mr. Perry.

I even told my wife that based on the collection of Patterson books that she had collected this genre could continue for years to come.

Well, it hasn’t happened yet. I also understand that as I began to embrace and like Mr. Perry’s art there are a lot of people that are not exactly accepting his deviation for the religious and Madea based movies that made him a household name.

As he began to explore and evolve many will come and some will go.

My wife has never missed anything that has Mr. Perry’s name on it and whenever there was a new release she has a dear friend (Neen) a nickname given for actual name Sharleen.

They’d go together and when my wife arrived back home she would attempt to tell me why and what I would have liked about the movie. I would of course explain the consistent theme of the movies.

Effeminate men playing men and husbands and a lot of strong women that are are smarter and more manly than the men.

Woman’s world script.

Religious practices that are confusing “Playing Church”

Minimized male and maximize woman.

There will be those that will say that my statement effeminate is gay bashing.

Not true.

We must take a little time to read and read only what is written because when we do this we will find understanding. Arnoldmrdadtate

My point is this .

The men appear to be very full of feelings and emotions.

The men are always looking like they need a hug or a tissue.

The men are not or do not appear to have any strength.

Now there will be women that will think that I am attacking women.

I will not entertain this .

We need merely to transpose the criticisms that I had for the males in these movies and realize that the woman is covered.

And this is a good thing because in the world we live in our women are having a tough time.

In one of my earlier Blogs “Hell hath no fury like a Black Woman scorned” I took the time to look at the effects of Black movies and television series on Black girls and women.

And that brings me to the movie “Acrimony “

This movie caught me by surprise.

Taraji P. Henson played her part in seldom seen role of a woman that had a family situation that is similar to what we have seen.

Sisters or Sustas biological or any number of ways that we connect in our community.

No spoiler alert:

I don’t want to share ,overshare or attempt to come to someone else’s conclusion.

I will however say this Tyler Perry is a genius and he addressed a seldom seen or if it is seen it may never be repeated cautionary tale of

Trust

Patients

Timing

Mental illness

Hope/Hopelessness

-I mentioned earlier that I did not want to giveaway the plot nor did I want to tell anyone how they should interpret this movie.-

You see it was my idea to go see this movie on date night.

Yes, this shocked me too…

The previews for this movie were deceptive.

Yes, and that is part of the reason I asked my wife instead of her asking me.

As we entered the theater on a Tuesday at 2:pm I was shocked to see that the place was packed.

Not because of the movie but because of the time.

I mean, “Don’t you people have jobs?”

Yes I said that, out loud.

As we headed to the concessions my mouth began to water for some ppopcorn and this place has an amazing hotdog.

This particular theater has 5 dollar movies on Tuesdays and another thing that I like is the diverse crowd.

I’m just gon’ say it.

Tyler Perry movies are great and have a way of creating audience participation and when we get together in a group sometimes, not all the time but, sometimes portions of the movie be missed because

We talk to the screen,we talk to each other and we (we won’t admit it) talk to ourselves.

So the idea of having a diverse crowd is a win.

We got to our seats and I started right in on my popcorn (is it just me?)

Somehow having the popcorn first makes the hot dogs taste better.

It was dark in the theater and the previews had just begun.

I have to be honest. When said earlier ( about the crowd being diverse) it was based on my own knowledge of my community.

You see as the movie began there was a group of people behind us in the upper right corner in the rear.

Believe me when I say.

“THEY WERE FROM THE COMMUNITY “

How did I know?

There are common themes that exist in our community and it relates to the Black man .

There is a expected and critical minimum expectation that when it is reached will garner a certain response.

There is a certain way the Black Women speak to and about the Black man.

This group (the ladies in the rear) hung on every, and they yelled uncontrollably.

They laughed and spoke among themselves.

I am ashamed of the fact that this group fit the stereotype.

Why is it that we (Africa’s Children) have a type of entertainment that lowers the bar, lowers our expectations.

We have a type of art that we imitate instead of the other way around.

But this was all at the beginning of the movie.

Only the beginning.

It was at this point that I asked myself “What was Tyler Perry going to do about the “ Cooky Lions” imageries “

You didn’t know this but.

I stopped watching the television series “Empire “ after the first season,it became predictable and seemed as if it was allowing the audience to write the script.

My wife has continued to watch it and occasionally I see Taraji do her stereotypical “Girl-rilla “ (angry black woman) performances

Or maybe I’ll read about it on social media.

“Cooky, Snapped “…

I believe that Mr. Perry did a good job separating his character from the “Empire “ character.

I will also say that many of the quiet moments in the film is the result of My Perry’s evolution as an artist,writer producer and director.

One more thing I had the occasion to see some ladies bashing the movie and that is an example of how much work that must be done as well as what happens when an artist get a reputation for certain kinds of art.

As for me I am a fan of this particular work and look forward to more as Mr.Perry continues to build his portfolio.

No spoiler alert

Acrimony is a good movie for the times that we are living and what was most beautiful about it is racially and gender neutral.

Congratulations Mr.Perry on a job well done.

Q &A “Dating”

Edu-Tate-Shun…

This is an actual question:

Hey so I have a question why will you have a hard time finding the one if you’ve been dating alot?

This was my response:

The thing about dating a lot is that it knocks your radar off.

For example if you like or are liking someone you become at ease or comfortable and as a result fail to clearly see who they really are.

it may also blind you to Mr. Right because you are semi-committed to the guy/guys that you are dating…

Black Lies Matter PT.9 “Blue Klux Klan” 1

While enjoying a deep conversation with a man that I have a lot of respect for our chat took a turn.

Not because we were going into different directions but quite the opposite.

We were dealing with one of the toughest subjects of the 21st century for the children of Africa, Misidentified as former slaves.

When I say former slaves, what is the first things that come to mind also what would I or we be dealing with that is unique or different from what anyone else is dealing with in America?

Or what are Black People whining about now?

This is a conclusion that many people jump when a Person Of African decent proclaims or complains about the the blind justice of greatest country in the world.

And who do you think that you are ( Black Person) Negro,Jigaboo,Coon or Nig…

As I am writing this blog, the city of Chicago is in the midst of a scandal about a young Black man and a grandmother that were gunned down by a White police officer.

This is not an isolated story but has become what has been referred to as “The New Normal”

Screengrab/CBS

CHICAGO — Bettie Jones, known in her Chicago neighborhood for her work with anti-violence community groups, was killed by police officers responding to a domestic disturbance just hours after she hosted family on Christmas Day.

The fatal shooting of Jones, 55, and 19-year-old Quintonio LeGrier, a college student visiting his father for the holiday, at a West Side home has raised further questions about a police department already under intense scrutiny. Grieving relatives and friends of the pair gathered Sunday to remember them and criticize city officials who they said had once again failed residents.

The shooting happened early Saturday morning at the small two-story home, where Jones lived in a ground-floor apartment and LeGrier’s father in an upstairs unit. The police, who were responding to a 911 call made by LeGrier’s father after an argument with his son, have released few details beyond a brief statement.

It said officers “were confronted by a combative subject resulting in the discharging of the officer’s weapon” and added that Jones “was accidentally struck.”

Both Jones and LeGrief were black, and their deaths come amid scrutiny of the police after a series of deaths of African-Americans at the hands of officers across the country gave rise to the Black Lives Matter movement.

http://www.businessinsider.com

What we will also talk about is the fact that those shots were taken from 20 feet away (Fact)

There’s more:

It also comes amid a federal civil-rights investigation into the Chicago Police Department was launched after last month’s release of police dashcam video showing a white officer, Jason Van Dyke, shooting a black 17-year-old, Laquan McDonald, 16 times in 2014.

The police did not disclose the race of the officer or officers, saying only that those involved would be placed on administrative duties.

LeGrier’s mother, Janet Cooksey, during a vigil Sunday placed candles on the porch of the home. On either side of the door, Post-It notes indicated where two bullets hit siding on the house.

“I used to watch the news daily and I would grieve for other mothers, other family members, and now today I’m grieving myself,” Cooksey said at a news conference outside the residence earlier Sunday.

Others who spoke said the police should have used stun guns or other nonlethal methods if they felt they needed to subdue LeGrier.

“Why do (police) have to shoot first and ask questions later?” Jacqueline Walker, a friend of Jones, said. “It’s ridiculous.”

More:

Thomson Reuters

Family spokesman Eric Russell said Jones’ many grandchildren had hoped to thank her for their Christmas gifts over the weekend.

Autopsy findings released Sunday by the Cook County medical examiner’s office say Jones died from a gunshot to the chest and LeGrier from multiple gunshot wounds.

Police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi on Sunday said only that the shootings were being investigated by the city’s Independent Police Review Authority, the main police oversight agency.

LeGrier’s cousin, Albert Person, said LeGrier’s father had invited his son to a holiday gathering at another home on Christmas. Person said the son’s refusal to go caused friction, but he downplayed the severity of the argument.

“What family doesn’t fight on the holidays?” he said.

LeGrier’s father, Antonio LeGrier, told the Chicago Sun-Times his son appeared to be a “little agitated” when the father returned to the apartment. Around 4:15 a.m., the elder LeGrier said he heard loud banging on his locked bedroom door and that his son said, “You’re not going to scare me.” He said his son tried to bust the door open, but he kept him from doing so and called the police. He added that he called Jones on the floor below to say his son was a “little irate” and not to open the door unless the police arrived.

Finally:

He said Jones told him his son was outside with a baseball bat. Person said the teen was back in the house by the time the police arrived.

When they did arrive, Antonio LeGrier said he heard Jones yell, “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” He said he heard gunshots as he made his way down from the second floor and then saw his son and Jones lying in the foyer.

He said his son had emotional problems after spending most of his childhood in foster care. He described him as a “whiz kid” on break from Northern Illinois University, where he majored in electrical engineering technology.

Cooksey denied that her son ever exhibited “combative behavior.” She said he “might’ve been angry with his father and they might’ve got into it,” but that he was not angry or violent.

It’s not clear whether Jones tried to intervene before being shot or whether she was hit by gunfire while answering the door.

Uh Oh: Say What?

y Images

Sam Adam Jr., a lawyer for the Jones family, said Jones and LeGrier were apparently shot near the doorway of the home but shell casings were found some 20 feet away. He said that raised questions about whether the police could have perceived LeGrier as a threat at such a distance.

It couldn’t be independently verified that the casings had any link to Saturday’s shooting.

Adam also said the police took the hard drive of a home-security camera from across the street, but it was unknown whether it or other cameras in the neighborhood captured the shootings.

The office of Chicago’s mayor, Rahm Emanuel, said in a statement Saturday that IPRA would share its evidence with the county prosecutor’s office.

“Any time an officer uses force the public deserves answers, and regardless of the circumstances, we all grieve anytime there is a loss of life in our city,” Emanuel said in the statement.

IPRA : Independent Police Review Authority is a group of people that have the responsibility to look at Police involved shooting and evaluate whether or not it was justified.

They also offer recommend that if in some cases an officer should be reprimanded or even terminated.

There are a lot of people involved with this increased number of shootings of unarmed Black men however, we must take a look at other common themes in these types of shootings.

They feared for their lives ( Even though they are the one’s with training and go into dangerous situations)

They are the only one with a weapon.

In most cases they (The Officers) is using a lot of profanity and are rarely alone.

But what if the Black man isn’t a man at all and based on the constitution “Not Even Human”

Ebony Slaughter-Johnson published

Still Treated as Second-Class Citizens By the Law

The infamous Dred Scott Supreme Court ruling once denied African Americans any and all rights as human beings. Has anything changed?

July 13, 2016 | Ebony Slaughter-Johnson

She Continued

When I heard about the police shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, I thought back to another name etched into American history: Dred Scott.

In 1857, the Supreme Court was tasked with deciding whether Scott, an African American man born into slavery, should be granted his freedom. The justices not only denied Scott’s request, but also took the opportunity to send a chilling message to all African Americans, free and enslaved, that reverberates to this day.

The court held that as members of an inferior race, African Americans were not citizens at all — and, as such, did not even have legal standing to sue. African Americans, as Chief Justice Roger Taney so decisively determined, had “no rights which the white man was bound to respect.”

The next century was characterized by an ongoing struggle to prove Taney wrong.

African American heroism during the Civil War era hastened the passage of the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, and Fifteenth Amendments, which ended slavery and (theoretically) reversed race-based restrictions on citizenship. Yet these gains were negated almost as quickly as they were realized, as the strong grip of Jim Crow choked communities throughout the South.

Over the violent decades that followed, African Americans endured church bombings,harassment, and police beatings and animal attacks, like the brutalities inflicted on those marching across the Edmund Pettus Bridge in 1965. This sacrifice of the black body, along with sustained lobbying, ultimately led to the enactment of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

Yet even today, second-class citizenship continues. It shows up in generational poverty, a disparate education system, mass incarceration, and violence at the hands of police.

In fact, African Americans are three times as likely as whites to be killed by police, even though they’re twice as likely to be unarmed. That’s produced a slew of names that, like Dred Scott’s, may loom over our history for centuries because of the rights they were denied.

In 2012, Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis, both of whom had committed no crimes or infractions of any sort, were deprived of their constitutional right to life by self-deputized racists who proclaimed themselves judge, juror, and executioner and gunned them down.

That same year, Rekia Boyd was murdered under a hail of bullets by an off-duty police officer who reproached Boyd and her friends for talking too loudly, depriving her of her right to free speech, freedom of assembly, and life.

In August 2014, Michael Brown’s right to a fair and public trial was violated by the police officer who shot him and callously left his lifeless body to bleed out in the street.

Walter Scott’s life and right to due process were taken in April 2015 at the hands of a law enforcement officer, who then had the audacity to plant his weapon next to Scott’s motionless body on the ground — all over a mere traffic violation.

On July 5, 2016, Alton Sterling, a father of five who was selling CDs to provide for his children, was murdered by law enforcement officers who violated his Fourth Amendment right to prevent unwarranted search and seizure simply because he fit a certain profile.

Less than 48 hours later, Philando Castile was pulled over for a broken tail light. Castile’s non-threatening disclosure that he was legally carrying a concealed weapon prompted a police officer to murder him in front of his partner and her four-year-old daughter, violating his Second Amendment right to bear arms.

In 2016, one would hope that the “inalienable rights” of all Americans are respected. Yet Taney’s words that African Americans “have no rights which the white man was bound to respect” still ring loud and clear.

Not A Man, Not Human and Not Worthy Of Rights On Protection Under The Law :

Reasons Why You Should Not Complain:

You were savages..

You were not educated.

You lacked spirituality.( I will address these myth in PT.2)

Even though Science and Historians both agree the this is not the facts. Young children of all races rely on the lies and myths of public educational systems to miseducate them about the Black Man’s actual history.

But why?

America has never and will never correct this system and in many ways I feel that it isn’t all bad.

If we take a closer look at this system and the power of a required educational formula we may see that all other ethnic groups through Religion, Family gatherings and National connection educate their posterity to a sense of pride and citizenship.

Where is the “Black State”..?

The “Black Flag “..?

The “Black Language “..?

The “Black Military “..?

Black is a color and this color does not represent all of them because they come in many colors.

In a conversation with a friend the other day, our conversation took a turn when my “Friend “ referred to the “Black People “ as a minority.

I responded by saying to him that if he would connect with his proud Italian community instead of connecting to the “White Race” He/They would also be considered a minority.

Hmm…

E Pluribus Unum

Out Of Many One.

One America,One People?

Hmm…

A Brief History of Slavery and the Origins of American Policing

Written by Victor E. Kappeler, Ph.D.

The birth and development of the American police can be traced to a multitude of historical, legal and political-economic conditions. The institution of slavery and the control of minorities, however, were two of the more formidable historic features of American society shaping early policing. Slave patrols and Night Watches, which later became modern police departments, were both designed to control the behaviors of minorities. For example, New England settlers appointed Indian Constables to police Native Americans (National Constable Association, 1995), the St. Louis police were founded to protect residents from Native Americans in that frontier city, and many southern police departments began as slave patrols. In 1704, the colony of Carolina developed the nation’s first slave patrol. Slave patrols helped to maintain the economic order and to assist the wealthy landowners in recovering and punishing slaves who essentially were considered property.

Policing was not the only social institution enmeshed in slavery. Slavery was fully institutionalized in the American economic and legal order with laws being enacted at both the state and national divisions of government. Virginia, for example, enacted more than 130 slave statutes between 1689 and 1865. Slavery and the abuse of people of color, however, was not merely a southern affair as many have been taught to believe. Connecticut, New York and other colonies enacted laws to criminalize and control slaves. Congress also passed fugitive Slave Laws, laws allowing the detention and return of escaped slaves, in 1793 and 1850. As Turner, Giacopassi and Vandiver (2006:186) remark, “the literature clearly establishes that a legally sanctioned law enforcement system existed in America before the Civil War for the express purpose of controlling the slave population and protecting the interests of slave owners. The similarities between the slave patrols and modern American policing are too salient to dismiss or ignore. Hence, the slave patrol should be considered a forerunner of modern American law enforcement.”

The legacy of slavery and racism did not end after the Civil War. In fact it can be argued that extreme violence against people of color became even worse with the rise of vigilante groups who resisted Reconstruction. Because vigilantes, by definition, have no external restraints, lynch mobs had a justified reputation for hanging minorities first and asking questions later. Because of its tradition of slavery, which rested on the racist rationalization that Blacks were sub-human, America had a long and shameful history of mistreating people of color, long after the end of the Civil War. Perhaps the most infamous American vigilante group, the Ku Klux Klan started in the 1860s, was notorious for assaulting and lynching Black men for transgressions that would not be considered crimes at all, had a White man committed them. Lynching occurred across the entire county not just in the South. Finally, in 1871 Congress passed the Ku Klux Klan Act, which prohibited state actors from violating the Civil Rights of all citizens in part because of law enforcements’ involvement with the infamous group. This legislation, however, did not stem the tide of racial or ethnic abuse that persisted well into the 1960s.

Though having white skin did not prevent discrimination in America, being White undoubtedly made it easier for ethnic minorities to assimilate into the mainstream of America. The additional burden of racism has made that transition much more difficult for those whose skin is black, brown, red, or yellow. In no small part because of the tradition of slavery, Blacks have long been targets of abuse. The use of patrols to capture runaway slaves was one of the precursors of formal police forces, especially in the South. This disastrous legacy persisted as an element of the police role even after the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. In some cases, police harassment simply meant people of African descent were more likely to be stopped and questioned by the police, while at the other extreme, they have suffered beatings, and even murder, at the hands of White police. Questions still arise today about the disproportionately high numbers of people of African descent killed, beaten, and arrested by police in major urban cities of America.

Victor E. Kappeler, Ph.D.

Associate Dean and Foundation Professor

School of Justice Studies

Eastern Kentucky University

pisonline.eju.edu

References

National Constables Association (1995). Constable. In W. G. Bailey (Ed.), The Encyclopedia of Police Science (2nd ed., pp. 114–114). New York, NY: Garland Press.

Turner, K. B. , Giacopassi , D. , & Vandiver , M. (2006) . Ignoring the Past: Coverage of Slavery and Slave Patrols in Criminal Justice Texts. Journal of Criminal Justice Education, 17: (1), 181–195.

Published on January 07, 2014

This is part 1 of a 3 part series that is designed to get clarity, understanding and answers.

I have had many people tug at me and asking me to offer my thoughts and ideas on this difficult subject as well as offer anecdotes to help us correct many of the misconceptions and misunderstandings that divide us so let’s face it together.- Arnoldmrdadtate-

Black Lies Matters PT.8 “ Hell Hath No Fury Like A Black Woman Scorned “

While dining in at my local fast food restaurant in my neighborhood a group young ladies sat down at the table next to me.

They were school girls and as I sat there eating my quarter dark with salt/pepper and mild sauce ( It’s A Chicago Thing) I was not ready for what I was about to hear.

To say they there was profanity would be an understatement.

And to say that they were loud would not be an exaggeration.

As a advocate for at risk youth in Chicago and around the world I realize that young have a particular type of freedom and independence in their groups.

I also understood that there are risk that exist when young people are left to themselves.

On this Wednesday afternoon at Harold’s all that I wanted was to enjoy my meal in peace and head to my cigar lounge and relax.

That didn’t happen, what happen was quite the opposite at least and far as enjoying my meal in peace.

This group of young ladies began by talking about a young lady at their school that for some reason none of them liked.

One of the young ladies “Erica” they called her, had gotten into a fight with earlier this year and Erica apparently got a five day suspension because she had ambushed ( Attacked someone without them knowing there was an issue) the other girl.

Also according to Erica she (Erica) got the worst end of this fracas having her weave snatched out and breaking her iPhone.

You are probably thinking, Man he was ear hustling.however, No I wasn’t. this wasn’t the case. these young ladies were loud, very loud.

At some point Kim spoke out, she was the heaviest ( No fat shaming) one in the group she was also the loudest.

She made a claim that her “ Mom, don’t play”

She continues that her Mom had stabbed a former boyfriend and that she (Her Mom) (Got Off) and even though she (her Mom) was questioned but not charged.

These is an interesting identity that I have found that is synonymous with Black women.

We see it everywhere.

In the workplace on television and movies there is this idea that the Black Woman Is uncontrollable and angry.

In the words of Bruno Mars “Don’t Believe Me Just Watch “

You Can’t Take Them “Anywhere”

Whether it is one of the “Housewives “ shows.

Love And Hip Hop.

Facebook .

Empire.

Or anyone of Tyler Perry’s movies you will see her represented or for the sake of this blog “Misrepresented”

Girl-rillas is a popular term used to describe this behavior.

As I listen to these young ladies I wonder if they have a chance in a world that is becoming less and less tolerant of this behavior.

I have always believed that art imitates life. However, in the case of all of the hiphop based programming I have heard that more of the parents are watching and imitating these performers.

Their daughters.

Well, they are there or within a “ Earshot “ of this stage misinterpretation of Black Womanhood.

Who’s responsible and who will help them?

The Children.

Also “Is this true, is this how they really are?

Stop, for a moment.

Now go to Google and look up “ Loud mouth Black Woman “

What did you find?

This is something that I found.

Angry Black Woman is an American trope that black women are “sassy, ill-mannered, and tempered by nature”, employing the terms “Sapphire” or “Sassy Black Woman”. The Angry Black Woman myth assumes that black women are aggressive.

The Angry Black Woman stereotype has not been studied to the same degree as the mammy and Jezebel archetypes.[citation needed] Some scholars, e.g. Dionne Bennett and Marcyliena Morgan, suggest that the stereotype is less studied because researchers accept it as true.[1][unreliable source?][2] en.m.wikipedia.org

Isn’t it interesting that there isn’t or wasn’t any research done on the subject (myth) because “ It Is Assumed To Be True”?

As far as where this “Assumed” stereotype came from there are a few suggestions one being the Black Woman being considered invisible and irrelevant in the community and the world.

A way of being “Heard”

Sounding out or sounding off.

Black feminists who challenge Angry Black Woman myth:

The angry Black woman myth also shapes how others read and interpret the actions of Black women. There are various sources, platforms and mediums that Black women use to shed light on the impact of the myth. A number of Black women provide insight on how the myth is reinforced in the media, social spaces and interpersonal interactions. Furthermore, Black women whether if it’s through activism, academia, art, dance, or writing validate, affirm their rage. They do so by explaining and debunking the myth and explaining their anger.[citation needed] en.m.wikipedia.com

Iyanla Vanzant chimes in:

In the first of a four-part special event, Iyanla Vanzant invites eight women to move into her House of Healing. The women, including a single mother, several victims of child abuse, and a set of twins—one of whom was attacked by an ex-boyfriend—all share one thing in common: They have all been labeled as angry black women. Iyanla’s intention is to prove that this stereotype is inaccurate, untrue and dangerous.

oprah.com

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own-iyanla-fix-my-life/iyanla-challenges-the-myth-of-the-angry-black-woman#ixzz5B53vb7tM

What can I say?

Even though I see something that I do not like.

There are many that don’t see a problem with this stereotype.

My reason for attempting to blog on the subject is a generation that appears to believe that this behavior is normal and acceptable behavior.

That it should be considered a way to be heard.

That there is nothing that can or should be done about it.

To them I will only say.

Ladies, if you are going to defend,define and control your narrative there has to be someway and someone that represents you.

And that representative must not speak so loudly that they drowned their constituency.

Constituency:

The people that you represent and that represents you.

—noun, plural con·stit·u·en·cies.

a body of constituents; the voters or residents in a district represented by an elective officer.

the district itself.

any body of supporters, customers, etc.; clientele.

As for the ladies at the table next to mine. I don’t know what happened with their meeting went because I left shortly after Kim’s remarks about her Mom.

Part 2 “More Answers” coming soon

Arnoldmrdadtate –

“6 Things That I Learned After Going Through A Divorce “

It has been almost 25 year since my divorce from my first wife and the mother of my 3 children.

It wasn’t something that I wanted. Nor, was it something that I was a direct part of or welcomed.

Although I share in its demise.

My then wife wanted it and had all of the support that she want and needed to make it happen.

Family (some mine), Friends ( stop mine) and some enemies were happy to put their 2 cents in to see my wife divorce me.

It wasn’t about her being happy. It was however her being away from me.

What is missing?

What is missing is the reason.

Why? According to the 3 page letter that she ( my then wife) gave my youngest then 9 years old at the time to give me has no legitimate claims however I knew that there wasn’t anything that I could do about it.

This blog is not about me being divorced or the idea that there can actually be a such thing as “ No Fault Divorce “

It is about the (6) of the main culprits that I observed at the time and want to share.

The is marital advice. It is however premarital advice.

Number One: It is easier to get married than it is to be married or stay married.

There are a number of reasons to want to be married and the way that enter into marriage.

Some live together (We Didn’t)

Some have children (We Didn’t)

Some save themselves for marriage (We Did)

Any one of these scenarios could work. At least when it comes to getting married.

I could blame my divorce on the fact that I didn’t have any role models.

Or being unemployed or fired but many marriages have survived much worse.

Preparation is key.

It looks easy but it isn’t.

Maybe Number Two Will Help?

Number Two:

Love is cool. But, it takes commitment.

This is easier said than done. Imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone and it is all one sided. Or they are just mean and angry all the time?

Or maybe they didn’t bathe?

What if your spouse was a chronic cheater?

The idea of remaining committed would be unfair.

When we consider the vows we take or make to our mate that is exactly what we are agreeing to.

Til death do us part…

And then there’s number 3.

Number Three:

Know your personale:

What do you know about each other?

Some say that you don’t a person until you live with them.

Anything from personal space to snoring may create a riff or resentment in a relationship.

In my present marriage my wife dislikes all of my choices of colognes.

That’s tough but it is a small thing (I just let her buy my cologne.

Understanding our partner and how we will operate and facilitate this small space is important and may take some cooperation ( On Both Side)

This may have contributed to my divorce.

Number Four:

To Counselor Or Not To Counselor.

We didn’t do premarital counseling and that may have been part of the problem.

I must be honest. I am stubborn and somewhat of a bully when it comes to my opinion and my time and having a professional counselor communicate to me how this personality flaw wouldn’t work in a marriage would have been key.

There are many counseling services that provide financial support as well.

They may have helped because my then wife and I had no idea about money management.

And this brings us to number five:

Number Five:

God And Religion.

This is an interesting one because as Christian, which we both were at the time.

We understood or at least we believe we understood that we should both be of the same religious belief.

Heck, there was even something in the Bible about it.

2 Corinthians 6:14 says

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness.

There you have it.

Or at least we thought we had it.

We were good Church going people and being part of a small startup there weren’t a lot of resources like counseling or even support for a young couple that “were in love” and that’s all that mattered or shall I say we were “Clueless “.

To add to these misconceptions we were part of a Church that considered the Bible “The word of God”

And we weren’t going to disobey God.

Because it was better to marry, than to burn (Also A Bible Verse)

So what exactly did this verse mean? “Be ye not unequally yoked “

Well it turns out this verse could mean any number of things from marriage to a non-Christian or marriage to an individual that had fallen out of fellowship.

Oh Sorry…

That’s when a person either stops coming to church or doesn’t want to follow Christian living.

It may also mean that one belongs to another church.

I this is according to how some people may interpret the verse.

Number Six :

To have or not to have children?

Children may be the single most blessing or curse to a successful relationship or marriage.

There is also the subject of not having them (children) or even how many do we have?

In either case children will make a difference.

For my family I must say that my children are a blessing and even though their timing and our lack of understanding placed us in a difficult situation ( A Child Born Each Year For 3 Years)

I have to conclude they kept things fresh and interesting.

These were happy and we were happy.

Looking back and attempting to put things into prospective, I now realize that my children were the glue and the inspiration.

They were also a part of a weird scenario that I played over and over again in my own life growing up with a father that was gone by the time that I was nine.

Also.

A continuous dream that I had as a boy as well as into my teens about three daughters that would sit on my lap and plead with me “Daddy, hurry up and get married so we can be born”

We actually had two girls and a boy.( because after two girls I prayed that I’d get a boy.

This weird desire to correct or prove that I would or could be the Father that my Father wasn’t.

And actually raise my children.

Many people are making the decisions to have children without realizing that this is a tough job if you want to do it correctly.

Some are choosing to have children in an attempt to be with a person or remain connected to a person.

There are those that do not want children male or female and will not inform their partner that they do not want children (Either now or ever)

As I walk back through time to prepare to write this Blog I am surprised by the fact that I found Six because we sometimes overthink and complicate things by adding things that will not help.

I am trying to help.

Just remember:

It is easier to get married than to be married and stay married.

Love is cool. But, it takes commitment.

Know your personal.

To Counselor or not to Counselor.

God and Religion.

To have or not to have children.

-The End-

Arnoldmrdadtate