On this Father’s and throughout the year I speak to Father’s that in an effort to create some kind of bond ask questions like do you believe that Father’s get a bad deal?
When I ask, what do you mean?
The response is always a “Mother’s” or Mother’s Day comparison.
My position is always that I don’t compare Mother’s with Father’s, and in fact I don’t want to imagine what a Mother has done or will do for her children.
Face it Mother’s ( Not women with children)
But Mom,and Grandma’s Rock!
I usually end our conversation with “Not All Father’s Are Created Equally”
So I’d like to share in this blog some of my thoughts on Fatherhood.
And when you have an opportunity take the time to read my blog ” The Ten Commandments Of Parenting By Arnoldmrdadtate”
Father are different from Mother’s is something that a child can teach much better than I can.
This is the problem when it comes to a grown man attempting to wonder why Mother’s Day is different from Father’s Day.
The number one problem that I see with us Father’s is that we have this imaginary idea of roles and responsibilities.
We must do what we must do.
I have a 20/80 rule for Dad’s
20% of what you say and 80% of what you do.
So Father’s have to help with homework.
We must do bedtime duty.
We must hold and comfort our children when they are confused or sad.
We must visit our children’s school as well as drop-off and pick-up from school.
The summer visiting and weekend time should not be at the movies or at Dad’s Mom’s house.
When the children out of state it is imperative that we make every moment matter and television and the movie theaters will become their teachers and mentors.
Don’t let them.
This is an important one.
No matter how busy we get, we must pause any and every time our child speaks to us or seemingly interupt us.
When my children would see me reading they might say, hey Dad?
Oh I see you’re reading.
I’d would say, “It’s ok , you are more important than this book”
No, that is not always the way I felt, but it created the idea that my children mattered and were important.
Also there is a point that is like to make.
Your children should see you reading (often) and it should be a book.
(Put down the phone)
First time Father’s as well as Grandparents (Father’s) will observe what they believe is independence.
It is not.
What it is, is an example of our child grasping or understanding the things that we taught or are teaching them.
They want to feel confident. But, do not make the mistake of thinking they are good or got it.
They are getting good and getting it.
We make a fuss over any and everything that they do.
Fill their diaper
Everything is worthy extra attention.
When our children are babies up to the time they toddlers we are a 24/7 cheer squad and when we sense they are getting more confident we pull back.
Don’t do it…
Oh, and one more thing
Words are seeds
So, be mindful of your power Dad’s and put less focus on what others think Father’s Day should be.
“Not All Father’s Are Created Equal”
As I have learned and accepted my place in the world and some of the things that may occur as part of it or as a result of it, there is one thing that I’ve realized in time. “S#&t happens”
I have a saying: Be careful what you say ( Ask For)
not only will you get it, you will not recognize it because it the process (Adversity) it won’t in anyway resemble your request.-Arnoldmrdadtate-
What I am saying is that anything we say or believe has the ability to take place in our lives.
And there’s a lot.
And the time.
The process isn’t fun,kind or pretty.
We don’t “Recognize” or “Realize” because the process (Preparation ) is sometimes painful or uncomfortable.
There may be people very close to us that leave us or behave differently.
There may be any number of things that will take place that will look like at our first glance it is out to get us or defeat us
but, taking a closer look or should I say having a clearer account of the things that we say or allow to become our thoughts “things appear clearer”
Or do they ?
Idle talk is one thing that we tend to do when we are hanging with friends or family and may appear to be innocent but, we sometimes will say things like “I want more” or I deserve better “ there may become a unending amount of created or invited energy that we bring into our own lives these seemingly meaningless words.
Sometimes we brag or boast about who we are or make remarks about someone else’s path to greatness.
No matter what we do, if we do not get control of our thoughts, because our thoughts produce and encourage the words.
We feel that we need to and are told we need to watch what we say.
shhh…don’t say this or that?
If we do not control our words we will have a life filled with unexpected, unexplained and unimaginable situations.
And that’s putting it lightly.
As I write this blog our world is changing and the tax on the words say is at a all time high.
Whether on social media or in person, in the letters we write, our words will play over and over again. Oh and by the way the idea of trying to defend yourself is now considered “Shameful “
It also is considered an excuse or a lie and will only make you look worse.
“Guilty Until The Internet Absolves (Exonerates) You”
For most, this will be “Never” because as you will see in my blog “Revenge Of The Nerds” there are a bunch of people with there own set of problems that are not going to take their foot off of your neck no matter what.
So how do we get control of our words?
You may ask.
And what happens when I get angry? (I Can Still Get Angry Can’t I?)
I’m a consultant I am no expert and for the record there are no experts. Because we are always learning “What We Don’t Know”…
For me I’ve managed to embrace the idea of practicing making or creating perfection .
My way of gaining control.
I call it a #wordkout .
These are a group of words that are reminders and guides to fine tune my response system.
60 second wordkout :
Smile,Smile,Smile… I say it over and over again. Smiles have “Supernatural Powers)
Pause: Pause is not stop and Stop is not pause. Everyday and in every situation pause. The pause will guarantee the best response .” Pausation” smile and then speak or respond. Say pause over and over again
Be kind. This is not possible to do without practice and is also very difficult to do because kindness is considered weakness some say. So I say these words over and over to remind myself of its importance.
3 exercises and I must say that when I first started doing these exercises it was tough and any day that I would miss I’d see the difference.
These ( what I refer to as exercises) may seem silly but give them a try.
The mind is an interesting and altogether different area to train.
Because it has so many levels of what it is, how it works and where it get its information.
Training the brain is not what I am doing for myself nor is it what I would encourage of others.
What I will say is that I realize certain things
And weaknesses that give me the idea that I’m stuck.
I know that I want more and I need more however I remain in a cycle of “Blah”
Blah is a feeling that I have no power to change the situation, or
who,what or all that I am where will I end up?
What I find myself doing to change this “Blah”
I eat something different ( Something I haven’t had in a while) or hadn’t ever eaten.
Take a trip ( It May be local) but it will disrupt my pattern and challenge the “Blah”
Play or listen to a different genre of music than I generally listen to.
There are any number of things that we can do to disrupt and reboot our minds.
Changing our minds should actually be a thing and it should also become a daily,weekly or monthly thing.
If at any time you have the time check out my YouTube channel “In my car with my cigar” Tell-A-Vision .This is an area where our minds are powerless to determine what is real from what is not.
Television, Radio, Social Media create produce mind pollutants.
But for now I will leave you with these words.
What if I told you that your life really is a journey and that everyone of your responses (Reactions) produces a “Go” or “No” algorithms and this is why it is taking so long for you to find yourself #eduTate
The Saturday Night Live skit “The Sensitive Naked Man” is for me, one of the most ingenious and memorable skits ever.
Rob Schneider was hilarious .
I became a fan instantly and think about his ability to keep a straight face but also to sell the idea that nothing was wrong.
I no longer have a Hulu account and that is where I would be able to find the reruns so I’ll probably have to head to Walmart to find the season that has these particular episodes and be satisfied.
Saturday Night Live for me had a difficult time maintaining steady laughs (For Me) and so when I would see the Rob Schneider preview I was certain that I would be in for a laugh.
I certainly was attempting to do a promotion’ to Saturday Night Live or even a Rob Schneider tribute.
What I was attempting to do was address a common occurrence in people all around the world.
A world that says “Do You” without a clear idea of what “ You Is” or should I say you are?
The idea that Correction, Etiquette, and Class do not matter or are irrelevant.
Or even the suggestion (Audacity) to a friend or family member that they shouldn’t eat,wear or do something because of the consequence.
A world where we’ve become so inclusive that we bar the idea of screening or monitoring our intake.
Not just talking about food.
I’m talking about information.
Criticism or Complement.
No, Not yet or Never
And all the lies that we tell ourselves based on the inclusivist ideology of
Only God Can Judge Me.
Inclusivist want a world where anything goes and there aren’t and cannot be any restrictions or rules.
There is another word for that.
The rules are ever changing.
And it is a matter of time before we self destruct.
The idea that it is someone else’s fault is not new.
In the old days we referred to it as “Blaming”
Imagine “The Sensitive Naked Man” walking around day after day and even though it is clear to everyone else that he has no clothes on and that “ “THIS IS A PROBLEM”
He sees the look of outrage, disdain and “What that?” On our faces and wants to know what the actual problem (It Can’t Be Him)
He doesn’t see it as a problem.
He insists that it is something else that is wrong with us.
There is another inclusivist tool that exists called social media.
Where people that actually have higher intelligent (Not Just Degrees) but people that “Think Before They Speak” type,comment or post.
And these people are placed in a pool where anyone is able to swim.
Or should we say “WEB”
This pool is filled with everyone else has a thought ( maybe we shouldn’t say thought)
IDEA… that’s it, idea.
Social Media provides
Even Playing Field.
Same airspace and airtime.
And depending on how many people we get to
We could become “ Somebody”
The internet has become a place where those that do not know meet those that half know and those that know and create a world that doesn’t want to know anything.
Something we want to support our friends and family in their quest to maintain a full life and all they hear is us calling them “FAT”
Or judging them.
As we take a look at a man that is clearly naked and is oblivious to that this is offensive and in poor taste.
We must consider the fact that if there are no rules or code of conduct, we will continue to have a communication gap.
And as we all enjoy the #excapation and #netventures that the internet provides we must draw a line in the sand to what we allow in our brain space. -Arnoldmrdadtate-
Also check out my blog “ Cell-phone” …
This Blog probably should be under my “Black Lies Matter” label because it is mostly based on something in the media and what is the (Black) community’s response.
I chose to create a stand alone piece that would share my perspective on a story (That is not a story) is filling my timeline and how the idea of going viral in an understatement.
What my title suggests is that Kanye is not a fraud.
I also want to celebrate this fact by adding the words “Yay”
Kanye West is a troubled and when you listen to his earlier music and interviews you see a young man that was bullied and had a low self esteem.
His ability and love of music and his ability to create beats ( Taking a keyboard and creating unique sounds for artist singers and rappers)
There may also be a mixer and a computer for the purpose of sampling (borrowing previously recorded music)
This skill is very popular in the (Black) Community
And there are any number of ( Guys that make beats) everywhere that you may look .
In Chicago we have JesseParks.com
I do not want to speak to deeply into this unique skill,I only added this information to offer some history of the artist that some refer to as “Yeezus” (His Clothing Line)
This is interesting because, as a result of Jay-Z attempting to create his preeminence and power in the Rap arena began referring to himself as “Jayhovah” and then “Hov”…
Kanye wanted to Deify himself by using the name Yeezus” or Yeezy.
We see but ignore the obvious desire of this young fella to be seen and admired.
To be “Unbullied” and to be adored.
This is everything he wanted.
Even the idea that Kanye would have an admiration for a young Kim Kardashian and put it in a song, Who would have thought he even had a chance.
What is interesting about this love story is that it had less to do with Kanye and all about the Kardashian Brand.
These Kardashian’s whatever anyone thinks about it is a multimillion Brand and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down.
What may be a combination of timing,sextapes and the idea of capitalistic society is a business model that is being copied and pasted all over the internet.
One thing that does appear to be clear however.
NO BOYS ALLOWED …
This formula is designed and favors the ladies and I have to say,
GOOD FOR THEM…
Also I want to say that while everyone is feeling sorry for the men that get involved with these ladies it is an interesting story that I read online about Robert Kardashian the Patriarch of the Kardashian’s.
There is no end to what you can find, if you know where to look.
Robert Kardashian was one of attorneys in the O.J. case.
He was also a close friend of Orenthal James Simpson.
The shocking, scandalous marriage of Robert and Kris Kardashian
By Doree Lewak
August 5, 2017 | 1:19pm
You probably think you know everything there is to know about Kim Kardashian and her siblings.
But there is a little-known prequel — the twisted story of her parents Robert and Kris’ tempestuous marriage, which was marked by rampant philandering and scandal. Author Jerry Oppenheimer’s book “The Kardashians: An American Drama” (St. Martin’s Press, out Sept. 19) reveals patriarch Robert’s infatuation with Elvis Presley’s ex-wife Priscilla, Kris’ repeated infidelity and Robert’s confession to his pastor that Khloé Kardashian wasn’t his biological daughter.
Here, the highlights:
Forever immortalized as the stand-by-his-man supporter of pal O.J. Simpson, Robert Kardashian rose to notoriety when he served as a legal consultant on the “dream team” that won the athlete a not-guilty verdict in his infamous 1995 murder trial. Robert, a born-again Christian of Armenian descent, was born in 1944 to a wealthy Los Angeles family; he would later distance himself from the clan’s corrupt meatpacking empire. Despite standing a mere 5-foot-8 and being stricken with a thick white hairline streak in his otherwise jet-black mane, he was considered one of Beverly Hills’ most eligible bachelors in the 1970s.
Born in 1955, Kristen “Kris” Houghton came from “redneck” roots and was raised in San Diego by her tough-as-nails maternal grandmother after her alcoholic father left when she was 7. By 12th grade, Kris wasn’t dreaming about prom or college, but looking for a man — a rich one. High school pal Joan Zimmerman thought Kris’ mom, Mary Jo, was “kind of pimping her out” when the 17-year-old started a relationship with golf pro Cesar Sanudo, who was more than 10 years her senior. That ended when Kris met Robert — who thought the teenager looked like a young Natalie Wood, despite a necklace that read “OH, S – – T” — at a horse-racing track and cheated on her boyfriend with him.
As Jack Spradlin, a friend of Sanudo’s, said: “[Kris] saw a far better financial opportunity with Kardashian than with Cesar.”
Still, Robert thought Kris was too young for things to be serious, and soon dumped her for Priscilla Presley. He may have been besotted with the famous ex-wife of Elvis, but she only went out with Robert because “she had no one else to go out with,” according to a cousin.
A worldly and “kinky” Presley groomed Robert, telling him how to dress and what kind of car to drive. The relationship, however, would never escape the specter of her famous ex. Robert “complained to a friend that while he was making love to Priscilla, she would get incoherent phone calls from [her ex-husband] Elvis ‘and she would put the receiver on the pillow between them and let him listen,’ ” Oppenheimer writes.
Robert aimed to turn Priscilla into “the perfect Armenian housewife.”
“Priscilla once tried to make dinner for Robert because he kept asking her,” said Joni Migdal, his friend since childhood. “She cooked asparagus, and she made this, and she made that . . . She went out of her way to make it perfect for him, and he hated it.”
Priscilla was insulted. Soon, she told Robert: “I’m not going to marry anyone until Elvis dies.”
He wasn’t lonely for long. A heartsick Kris, by then an American Airlines flight attendant, had been destroyed by Robert’s relationship with glam Priscilla and readily took him back, moving into his Beverly Hills manse right away. He was a lawyer and entrepreneur who made a killing with one of his investments, driving both a Rolls-Royce and a Mercedes; she was scraping by and had nothing to her name. Still, her fancy beau refused to give her money for anything, including much-needed new tires for her old Mazda.
“She needs to learn the value of a dollar,” Robert told Migdal. Ironically, this would backfire on Robert after he married Kris in 1978. Once they shared bank accounts, she would rebel against his prior constraints by becoming monstrously extravagant. When she dropped three grand on a single belt, her husband was apoplectic: “Can you f – – king believe that? Who needs a belt for $3,000?”
Where he failed to mold Priscilla into the perfect submissive housewife, Robert was determined to succeed with young Kris. Friends told Oppenheimer about how he was “totally turned on” by the 1975 movie “The Stepford Wives.”
“[It] was the model for Robert’s marriage to Kris,” said Migdal. According to another friend, “He had a fantasy about being able to dominate women.” As a way of grooming his high school-educated bride, Robert gave her self-help audiotapes to teach her how to throw a party and decorate for the holidays.
“Kris would say, ‘Oh God, I have to finish these tapes before the week is out because we’re going to talk about them,’ ” recalled friend Larry Kraines.
Robert, who had adorned his car with a fish insignia to show his born-again status, kept copies of the Bible on his nightstand, on his desk and on his person at all times.
While Kris attended church with her husband, Robert’s pastor, Kenn Gulliksen, harbored doubts about her sincerity: “I just sensed that Kris saw in Bob a kind of gold mine. Robert was a very generous man, and that was . . . good for Kris.”
After daughters Kourtney and Kim were born (in 1979 and 1980, respectively), the family moved into a 7,000-square-foot estate in Beverly Hills’ most “prestigious” section, complete with tennis courts and a duck-shaped swimming pool. Kris’ audiotape lessons had paid off, and the home became “party central.”
They often hung out with Robert’s friend O.J. Simpson. Sometimes, Simpson would have Kris call a very young girl — “possibly still in high school” — whom he was seeing, in case her parents answered. Then she would hand him the phone.
It seemed the family was flourishing. Robert had sold one of his businesses, the trade publication Radio & Records, “for a bundle.” But with the 1984 arrival of their third child, Khloé, the couple couldn’t ignore an elephant in the room: They hadn’t had sex during the time she had to have been conceived.
Gulliksen recalled that “it was my strong impression from him that [Robert] loved Khloé very much, but he said it in a way that implied that ‘She’s not my blood daughter.’ ”
He was unwilling to take a DNA test to confirm it, and told Migdal that “whoever her father is . . . she is my child.” Years later, his two subsequent wives — Jan Ashley and Ellen Pierson — attested that Robert claimed that Khloé wasn’t his biological daughter.
Soon, Kris’ affairs would be more out in the open. Despite all the blessings — and bling — of a charmed Beverly Hills life, she became “bored and rebellious.” After getting a new pair of breasts, she reportedly decided she wanted freedom.
I do not want to get into the whole story however if you want to read the rest checkout http://www.pagesix.com The shocking, scandalous marriage of Robert and Kris Kardashian.
I share this article so that we are clear about the Kardashian’s Matriarch (Kris Jenner) and why she plays to win.
We will get back to Kanye but, this will help us understand why Kanye was such a perfect “Mark” I mean, “ Pawn” uh, I mean addition…
There is a snippet in this article where we see Kris humble beginnings.
But there is also another part where Kris husband Robert was grooming young Kris after seeing the 1975 movie The Stepford Wives also
Robert tried and failed to turn Priscilla Presley into a perfect Armenian wife.
It is the Stepford wife story that really caught my eye.
In case you haven’t had a chance to see the movie.
There is a town by the name of Stepford that a husband and wife while visiting notice the though there were families there, it seemed the the housewives were too involved in the idea of compliance and submission.
I don’t want to spoil the story (This is a must see)
When I watch the list of guys that were involved or even interested in the kardashian ladies I began to wonder.
“ARE THESE FUTURE STEPFORD HUSBANDS ?“
Kanye was a perfect fit.
What bugs me at this time is that there are a lot of people that have forgotten that this guy say strange things.
All the time
With thought or not.
For a reason or no reason.
Many people also forget how many times they gave up on Kanye.
And this is why we must believe that his present rant is a Publicity stunt.
Things that Kanye said?
-George Bush doesn’t care about Black People-.
This was after Hurricane Katrina.
-My greatness pain in life is that I will never be able see myself perform live-
-Visiting my mind is like visiting a Hermès factory-.
-Rough night? Fur pillows are actually hard to sleep on-
I don’t even listen to rap, my apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.
Sometimes I get emotional over fonts.
“I’ve put myself in a lot of places where a vain person wouldn’t put themselves in,” West revealed to W magazine in June 2013. “Like, what’s vanity without wearing a kilt?”
Even frequent flyers have their moments! “I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me,” the Adidas designer tweeted in October 2010. “Like, oh great, now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.”
Ok, one more ..Thanks Us magazine
This is the promotional tweet that is used to sell his latest project.
West made headlines in April 2018 for expressing his support for President Donald Trump. “You don’t have to agree with Trump but the mob can’t make me not love him,” the Yeezy designer wrote. “We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone.” http://www.usmagazine.com
WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS
We saw him.
We laughed at him.
We pitied him.
We watch him grab the mic from Taylor Swift.
We watch as he recorded and repeated over and over again that he made her.
But one thing that we cannot allow in good conscience do and that is.
ACT LIKE HE SURPRISED OR DISAPPOINTED US.
Cut it out.
Kanye represents Kanye
HE IS WHO HE’S ALWAYS BEEN
So stop acting as it he is anyone but a rapper that we sometimes listen to.
Also if you are the type that prays
PRAY FOR THEIR CHILDREN…Arnoldmrdadtate
-The Unbelievable,Irresponsible and Unethical Story of America’s Dad-
This story has gone on for way to long.
Even with all the “Fake News” and “Racial Bias” Talk aside this is an example of one of what appears to be a case of mental illness.
Well, at least this is what (Where) it looks like it’s going.
Hold on give me a chance to share why.
William Henry Cosby according to Wikipedia was born July 12,1937 in Philadelphia Pennsylvania.
Drug Facilitate sexual assault
Child Sexual Abuse or Sexual Misconduct.
To the untrained eye (mine included) it may appear that a “Cosby” is a man of means and physique like a Greek god (Once Upon A Time) shouldn’t have any problem getting women.
However, beneath what may appear to be normal was a sad and pathetic man that didn’t want a to deal with the idea of rejection.
At least that is what I am thinking.
Soooo, aside all the antics and the media circus that is spinning out of control,there are many lives that have and will be affected by these crimes.
At the time I am writing this the second trial is over and Cosby has been found guilty on 3 counts.
It is also 10 years with each count.
I have been waiting to hear from a trained professional.
What do they have to say about his behavior.
It is even true that at one “Bill Cosby” admits giving a drug to women with the intention of having sex with them.
Some are telling the story of a 13 year old Cosby hearing of a drug ” Spanish Fly” that would enhance the ( woman’s) desire for sex as well as render her helpless to the man’s advances.
But why, why would he put himself (freedom ) in jeopardy?
And why would feel that he had the right to these woman’s bodies?
Maybe Cosby has something called “Somnnopholia”
Doze Were the Days
A brief look at somnophilia
Posted Feb 04, 2014
Some signs or symptoms that may point to somnophilia include recurring thoughts regarding unconscious or sleeping individuals and feeling sexual urges when in contact with or in the proximity of those people. While there is speculation about treatment (e.g., hypnosis, behavioural therapy, and 12-step programs), it is not needed unless the behavior becomes destructive, problematic, and/or involves sexually criminal activity and becomes a legal issue. http://www.psycologytoday.com
There is a lot that we do not know about Cosby and as we and others cherrypick the stories to get the best circulation there is much to consider.
It was and is impossible for many to Imagine.
The creator of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids?
Cliff ( Heathcliff Huxtable) Nooooo…
His actual Family:
His wife (Camille) had (6) children and though one of his children passed (His Son.Ennis) their only son they have (5) other children all daughters that will be left to pick up the pieces.
Imagine the irony.
The story of Ennis being murder hasn’t gotten the airtime of the sexual abuse Story.
And in many it could have created a distraction.
Bill Cosby’s Son Is Slain Along Freeway
By B. DRUMMOND AYRES JR.JAN. 17, 1997
Ennis William Cosby, the only son of Bill Cosby, was shot to death early today on a Los Angeles freeway ramp in what the police said might have been a robbery attempt as he changed a flat tire.
He was one of five children of the most popular television father of the 1980’s, a hugely popular entertainer and best-selling author whose rollicking comedic routines draw heavily on the frustrations of fatherhood.
Ennis Cosby, a graduate student at Columbia University, was in Los Angeles to visit friends. Another motorist discovered his body, police investigators said, next to his dark green Mercedes-Benz sports convertible on the side of the road, its emergency lights blinking and its tire-changing equipment out.
Bill Cosby is an accomplished individual.
His start in stand-up comedy began at the hungry i in San Francisco. He then landed a starring role in the 1960s television show I Spy, followed by his own sitcom, The Bill Cosby Show, which ran for two seasons from 1969 to 1971.
Using the Fat Albert character developed during his stand-up routines, Cosby created, produced, and hosted the animated comedy television series Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, a show that ran from 1972 to 1985, centering on a group of young friends growing up in an urban area. Throughout the 1970s, Cosby starred in a number of films, and he occasionally returned to film later in his career. He attended Temple University in the 1960s and received his bachelor’s degree there in 1971. In 1973, he received a master’s degree from the University of Massachusetts, and in 1976, he earned his Doctor of Education degree, also from UMass. His dissertation discussed the use of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids as a teaching tool in elementary schools.
Beginning in the 1980s, Cosby produced and starred in a television sitcom, The Cosby Show, which aired from 1984 to 1992 and was rated as the number one show in America for five years, 1984 through 1989. The sitcom highlighted the experiences and growth of an affluent African-American family. Cosby produced the Cosby Showspin-off sitcom A Different World, which aired from 1987 to 1993, starred in The Cosby Mysteries from 1994 to 1995, starred in the sitcom Cosby from 1996 to 2000; and hosted Kids Say the Darndest Things for two seasons, from 1998 to 2000.
Numerous sexual assault allegations, the earliest of which date back decades, have been made against Cosby; these allegations did not become highly publicized until 2014. More than 60 women have accused him of rape, drug-facilitated sexual assault, sexual battery, child sexual abuse, and sexual misconduct. The statute of limitations has expired in nearly all accusations. On April 26, 2018, he was found guilty of three counts of aggravated indecent assault. http://www.wikipedia.org
With all of these accomplishments we yet ask
I still believe without attempting in any to excuse or victim blame,
There is something “Mentally Wrong ”
Check out this young lady’s take from the victims point of view.
My Take on the Bill Cosby Allegations — A Psychological Perspective
By Katherine Lee, LCSW
As a therapist who has worked with sexual assault victims, I’d like to shed light on the recent controversy regarding women who are now coming out about allegedly being raped by Bill Cosby. This is an issue that has raised alarm for various reasons: How could such an icon, known for playing a fatherly role, have committed such atrocities? Why did it take so long for these women to speak up? And does the delay in disclosure (a matter of years for most of these victims), lend their stories less credibility?
— Why did his victims stay quiet for so long?
There are a number of reasons why one who has been the victim of sexual assault might not disclose it. Think for a moment about a child who is being molested. Children (both male and female) who are molested often don’t disclose until adulthood, if at all. Aside from being threatened by the perpetrator, they may also feel frightened that the disclosure will split apart their family, or that their secret won’t be believed or validated by a parent/caregiver. While those exact reasons may not match up with the women in question who claim to have been raped, the intent to hide the abuse is the same. Disclosure of abuse, particularly that of sexual abuse, risks feelings of shame and rejection. The possibility that a famous celebrity who seems to have a “squeaky clean image” would abuse women in such a way seems incomprehensible to many. If an individual is scared that she (he) may feel blamed, or exposed in a negative light for being abused—that fear must be all the more harrowing when it’s at the hands of a worldwide icon.
— Why do we blame the victims?
One of the most fascinating theories in social psychology is the “Just-World Hypothesis,” or the “Just-World Fallacy.” This theory is about the need to believe that one gets what one deserves. It’s a means of rationalizing away the anxiety that comes with the fact that inexplicably bad things can happen, at random, to any person. Bill Cosby has been known, for years, as an upstanding actor who plays the role of a wholesome father on television. This makes it even more difficult for us to understand his alleged actions. It just doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t fit with the construction we’ve made up in our minds about who he is. Our psychological mechanism is then to shift blame for this incomprehensible action, at the hands of someone we believe to be “good”, on to the victim. Just as a family member may shun a child for “seducing” the perpetrator or breaking up the family, we blame the victims in this case in order to protect our pre-conceived notions about who the abuser must be. In the case of Cosby’s alleged victims, we may ask ourselves about why the women waited so long to tell their story, or we may wonder if there’s some hidden agenda behind why they’re all coming out at once. Assigning blame to these women brings us away from the awful truth that what might have happened really happened, and without answer.
Victims themselves are also privy to the Just-World Hypothesis. If we believe that our perpetrator is caring, charming, or powerful, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that we are in the wrong–that the rape or the assault is our fault, somehow. I believe that the gradual way in which Cosby’s alleged victims have come out of the woodwork now may be a result of hearing the other women’s stories. These women feel more empowered to disclose, because the sense of personalization and wrongdoing in each respective assault is now decreased. While we’ll likely never know the truth behind the allegations, it’s important to understand, from a psychological perspective, why this controversy raises concerns, and may inform how we choose to look at the situation.
I didn’t and didn’t want to think about this entire trial.
I just wanted it to go away. But as a Father,Grandfather and youth advocate I feel it is my duty to at least say .
This trial taught me:
I am aware of how Sexual Predatory Behavior may look and at the same time I’m wondering how in a world of information, that abuse against women is yet under recognized and reported. Arnoldmrdadtate