Dating has gone through a major makeover or should I say something like “ What Tha Hell?”
With the internet version and the traditional boy meets girl scenario, there are a few No-no’s that I would like to share.
( Please If You Will Checkout My Brothers Blog) questioneverything39.wordpress.com “ Dating in the Evolution And revolution of online dating pt.1
It will offer addition support in the ever changing world of dating.
I however have (5) things that could give you a “Leg Up” in your first date experience.
I first of all want to address what I refer to as “The Cinderella Theory of Things”
-We are not who or what we appear to be-
Cinderella wasn’t …
This is on both sides and there are various degrees of understanding and misunderstandings about how we all enter this “Realm” (Dating)
While watching television the other day I saw an interesting dating commercial.
This man after being asked what he was looking for in a woman,listed what I hadn’t heard before as an expectation or quality in a relationship.
He listed “ Trusting “ as one of the things that he was looking for in a woman.
Now, that was a first for me.
And it is. For me probably the best.
Why, You say?
Because trust is the number one thing that affects any relationship.
A relationship is a partnership and a covenant.
We place our confidence in an individual or a group that has our trust. And we do not want at anytime to ever doubt their allegiance or protection of that trust.
So it is, when I heard the word “Trusting “ I immediately felt that this individual was “Trustworthy”
The Cinderella Theory of things is based on the fairy tale.
This is the oldest information that I found of this tale.
Cinderella (Italian: Cenerentola, French: Cendrillon, German: Aschenputtel), or The Little Glass Slipper, is a folk tale embodying a myth-element of unjust oppression and triumphant reward. Thousands of variants are known throughout the world. The title character is a young woman living in unfortunate circumstances, that are suddenly changed to remarkable fortune. The story of Rhodopis, recounted by the Greek geographer Strabo in around 7 BC, about a Greek slave girl who marries the king of Egypt, is usually considered as the earliest known variant of the “Cinderella” story. The first literary European version of the story was published in Italy by Giambattista Basile in his Pentamerone in 1634; the most popular version was published by Charles Perrault in Histoires ou contes du temps passé in 1697, and later by the Brothers Grimm in their folk tale collection Grimms’ Fairy Tales in 1812.
Also known as
ATU 510 A (Persecuted Heroine)
Although the story’s title and main character’s name change in different languages, in English-language folklore “Cinderella” is the archetypal name. The word “Cinderella” has, by analogy, come to mean one whose attributes were unrecognized, or one who unexpectedly achieves recognition or success after a period of obscurity and neglect. The still-popular story of “Cinderella” continues to influence popular culture internationally, lending plot elements, allusions, and tropes to a wide variety of media. The Aarne-Thompson-Uther system classifies Cinderella as Tale Type 510A, Persecuted Heroine.:24-26
I am drawing my “Theory “ from the Disney tale
as most would.
Because it will lend to our blog as we have a strong message to share.
It is a fact that I always look forward to sharing my life filled experiences.
It is also a fact that for so many years I had no idea that I even knew that I could write or that anyone would want to read the things that were in my mind.
Cinderella being a stepdaughter that treated very poorly and because of a miraculous (fairytale) event her life was morph into a world wind of love.
So that She and her Prince live “Happily Ever After”
The Cinderella Theory Of Things is based of a fact that “No one is as they appear “ and that even without a fairy godmother any of us can or will morph into whomever we desire.
However without further ado, here is our 5…
Number One: is Avoid oversharing.
A first date is an interview,every is on their best behavior and there are is a number of things that are shared that may be “Too much or too soon”
Some of the things that may be viewed as “Oversharing” are:
Previous suitors (Ex’s) these conversations are a no-no because depending on how long it’s been since your last relationship, you or your date may have a “Type” (this could be any number of things)
Types: revealing similarities in the people we date.
From heights to skin tone or even hairstyle and muscular build.
And he may be him or she may be her.And they may mask themselves base on what we say that we dislike.
And for this reason “Oversharing” is a No-No.
Number two: is No Sex (No Means No)
When it comes to sexual intimacy,sex or f@cking there are boundaries that “Cloud” the perception of both genders and once you enter this world (Sex) someone is going to lose.
The problem with having intercourse on the first date is it cloud everyone’s idea about the direction that they want to go. There is a exception to this rule and it is if both individuals are seeking a one night stand… in that case it isn’t a date and I will only say “ Maybe I’ll address this point of view in a future Blog”
When I say “Cloud” or “Clouds” what I want to make clear is that first date have a way of having some expectations and though everyone wants a happy ending there has to be a clear idea of what a “Happy Ending “ is.
And when sex is involved it tends to create an unwillingness to pursue each other or understanding where we may be going.
Sex is a No-No (Don’t Talk About It)
Number Three: If There Are Children Say So
This is a crucial part of a good beginning and it is also what is perceived as a game changer in some relationships.
For both men and for women.
Ladies sometimes have difficulty sharing the fact that they have children and in some cases how many fathers are involved and maybe there not
To this I say, anytime that you do not mention that you have children when you have interest in an individual It may be perceived as being dishonest or that there is more to your story, like. ( You’re Still Involved With The Child’s Father )
If you believe this is the one or you believe that he might be. Let him know ( It rarely matters)
But not sharing may come at considerable risk.
Men likewise, you have a responsibility to divulge this information.
To many time women find out that you have children and in some cases by several women.
There is a need for honesty at the dating and (first date) level and it will help to start things off on the right track.
Not talking about children is a No-No
Number Four: Having A Job
Being employed is a very part of the responsibility part of the first date.
For both parties I mean after all (Who’s Going To Pay For This Meal)
Part of any cooperative it is a good idea to have a stable job or a career.
Whether it is “What Do you,do?” or “Where Do You Work?” this is important.
Guys, you should be asking as well.
We should know where we are going or if we are going and it is a good idea to make sure no one is doing it alone.
Also it is part of the business aspect of relationships.
Not having a job or career is a No-No
Number Five: Do You Have Your Own Place?
This one right here is sooo, necessary to ask and it is in many cases asked weeks after the first date.
It is also important that it is asked by the men as well as the ladies.
Ladies if he lives with his mother that is a deal breaker.(In Most Cases)
And depending on how old he is, it may be time to (Ask For The Check)
When a man lives with his mom, even if he has a job,there is cause for concern, however there are some exceptions to this rule.
Divorce with child support.
His “Mom” is his baby mom.(Don’t do it)
Legitimately helping Mom after she’s gone through a rough patch.
There may be any number of reasons (excuses) but make a decision that you are willing to live with or “Run For Your Life”
In the case where a woman is still at home with Mom or living with parents this may be a red flag.
Baby daddy issues (hanging around)
Live in babysitting (parents)
There are also many concerns that come with a woman or man that is still at home with parent or parents.
The main one is the they somehow are unable to comprehend what it’s like living with anyone else (They Make Terrible Roommates)
Not knowing where your first date lives is a No-No
Sometimes I get started writing these blogs and my mind want to add 6,7,or 8 and I realize that I have to stop.
I am not your traditional Blogger.
I write from my thoughts and never write anything down.
All of my work is done from my iPhone and I only do occasional google searches because a friend told that if I don’t,
People will get the idea that I’m a “KNOW IT ALL” Arnoldmrdadtate